It’s the question that’s sweeping the nation. No, not who is going to be the next president – who cares about that? (Jk jk, be cool) Instead, what we all want to know is who is the infamous “Becky with the good hair” from Beyonce’s Lemonade? Rumors have swirled that the woman alleged to be Jay-Z’s paramour could be fashion designer Rachel Roy (NOT Rachael Ray, you idiots) or singer Rita Ora. But what if
Beyoncé was giving us a big clue when she named the skank “Becky”? Here are some possible suspects.
Aunt Becky From Full House
Any man that came of age it late 80s/early 90s, as did Jay-Z, had a crush on Aunt Becky. She was hot, she was cool with living in the attic of the family house, and her body was banging even after having twins. Aunt Becky’s portrayer, Lori Loughlin, knowing that she would be at the top of any reasonable person’s suspect list, issued this denial:
— Lori Loughlin (@LoriLoughlin) April 26, 2016
But I’m not buying it. She’s my front-runner.
Becky Odds: 3:1
I’ve never heard the supermodel referred to as “Becky” but it could be Queen Bey throwing some shade at someone who hates their name abbreviated. So why is Romijn a possible suspect? Well, she’s closer to Jay-Z’s age (her 43 to his 46) than Beyoncé, so it’s possible that they met and bonded over their shared love of old Saturday morning cartoons and pop-rocks. Plus, girlfriend looks pretty amazing for her age.
Becky Odds: 6:1
Becky Williams from Empire
You hear of powerful dudes banging their assistants all of the time. Who cares if Becky is a fictional assistant at a fake record company? Girlfriend is confident, and guys like that.
Becky Odds: 15:1
Could the G. in the singer’s name stand for “Good hair”? Anything’s possible. And we know that Jay-Z likes ‘em young (Beyoncé is 12 years his junior) and talented. At 19, Becky G. fits the profile — she first became “famous” at 15 with her YouTube videos, and she’s since had a hit with her song “Shower.” Sounds right up Jay-Z’s alley…and you can’t deny she’s got some fab locks.
Becky Odds: 15:1
The British-American actress seems like an unlikely candidate for “Becky,” but stranger things have happened. Maybe there is something about the refined Golden-Globe Nominated actress that appeals to the former drug dealer?
Becky Odds: 19:1
Actually, I’m relatively sure there’s no way in hell that Jay-Z banged the chick who sang that annoying “Friday” song, but I’ve had it in my head since I started writing this, and now I want all of you to suffer too.
It’s Friday, Friday, Gotta get down on Friday…
Becky Odds: 247:1.
Image via Youtube