Our story begins with me, at the ripe age of 15. My BFF invited me on my first friend beach trip to the great city of Miami, Fla. Since I have a vagina, the first thing that popped in to my head was this: fantasies of a forbidden summer romance, best friend bonding over shopping adventures that we’d obviously take on our rented mopeds while the wind blew in our hair, and a little scandal as we accidentally stumbled on a gang of big-time art smugglers. We’d sip on classy virgin coladas the whole time, too. In case you’ve lived under a rock for the past 10 years or were raised by a pack of wolves, that was basically the plot of “Holiday in the Sun,” MK and Ash’s 2001 hit. The twins’ story lines were consistently the spot-on epitome of every gal old enough to remember Easy Bake Oven’s hopes and dreams back then. None of those exciting adventures happened during my five day trip to a dirty ass beach with crabs (both kinds) everywhere. To top everything off, I got the stomach flu after eating a questionable looking clam strip. In hindsight, my first clue should’ve been that it was a retreat with my friend’s church.
It is a statistical fact that the number of female college students who participate in Greek life has risen significantly the past 10 years, and this number continues to grow each year. It is also true that a vast majority of the Generation Y female population grew up watching Mary-Kate and Ashley religiously. Thus, we lived a life of exhilaration vicariously through the well-coiffed power duo. These former fans are now the face of Greek life today–she can range from a PNM to a chapter president. Ladies, a tiny seed was implanted into our brains that fateful day when we first popped in those VHS tapes and pressed play. It was continuously fed and nurtured year after year by any juicy storyline we encountered. There are a ton of reasons explaining why MK and Ash have stayed in our hearts for so long.
1. They taught us that an essential element to any good story is a guy (preferably of the tan and six-pack variety). Go on, I dare you to name one Mary-Kate and Ashley movie after they hit puberty where a couple of teenaged heartthrobs didn’t stroll right in and stake their claim. And honestly, who doesn’t want their life to be one hell of a story someday?
2. Their constant appliance of lip gloss. Seriously, when were their lips not shining and reflecting sunlight beams to bewitch every nearby babe and blind every jealous brat (cough, Megan Fox).
3. Their giggling. So. Much. Giggling. Oh, and the hair flipping. They really are learned behaviors, people.
4. The lifestyle of carefree fun and success, without the tilt of a single manicured finger. This is not to say–in any way, shape, or form–that sorority girls are lazy. In fact, students in sororities and fraternities typically hold higher GPAs than non-affiliated students. However, we would preferably like to give off the illusion that our intelligence and rockin’ bods come to us naturally, instead of the reality of the morning after a cram-sesh when we wake up with pieces of muffin stuck in our hair.
5. The perfectly placed hair. Yeah, I know that if you troll for old pictures of the twins, you’d undoubtedly find some pretty heinous hairstyles. But let’s be real, they were still role models back then. This is why I get dirty looks from girls when I wear my hair in a ponytail every day of the school week and why no one should never expect me to be ready to go out in a half hour’s time.
6. Their tendency to singlehandedly begin any trend. I saw Ashley Olsen wearing a pink scrunchie and butterfly clips so I went out and bought a pink scrunchie and butterfly clips.
To sum things up, the message to take away is that basically if you didn’t find the Olsen twins’ lives 50 shades of inspirational fabulousness, you’re either in denial or a hard 10 on the GDI scale.
Image via Huffington Post
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GreatSratsbyTSM
GreatSratsbyTSM is a proud pupil at the University of Missouri-Columbia. She lives her life by the wise words of her mother, "All you need is love. Well, and wine. Some chocolate, too. Maybe a nap. But mostly the love."
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