Dalhousie University Implements “Puppy Room” For Stress Release

Dalhousie University, which is apparently some school in a place called “Canada,” has recently decided to implement a facility on its campus to assist students in stress relief during finals. Of course, you’re assuming they have devised a way to remove the calories from ~~fro yo~~ real ice cream, and will be serving it to girls as they indulge in free pedicures that never chip (which would literally eliminate all the stress from my life), but it’s much more basic than that: puppies. December 4-6, the university will host a “puppy room” where students can go to calm themselves as they’re cramming for finals by playing with little furballs, who are coming to the school via an organization called Therapeutic Paws of Canada.

As a devoted hater of all things canine, and self-proclaimed Cruella De Ville, I think this is absolutely ridiculous. I can only imagine that the room will smell terrible, and I’m already judging any person who doesn’t immediately shower upon exiting the premises. Slobber. Hair. Noise. Gross. Call me a traditionalist, but I prefer to relieve finals stress the old-fashioned way – by taking a “study break” with my boyfriend in the library stacks.

The rest of the population, however, as you’d expect, is totally psyched, and there’s already quite some buzz from students anxious to get their dog on. Supposedly this isn’t the first Canadian university to use puppies in aiding their students’ educations. The University of Ottawa was the first to try it in March, and I guess it’s working, as they’ve recounted, “Some students said they missed their family dog back home and needed to get a puppy fix. Others had come from an exam and were looking for a distraction.” To this, I say, good for you Canada. You’ve been a nation for a few hundred years now, it’s about time you did something innovative and interesting.

And for the rest of you…my gift to you. You’re welcome.