What The Human Face May Look Like In 100,000 Years: Creepy

In case you were wondering what the human face could potentially look like in 100,000 years from now, ~~heathen~~ researcher Nickolay Lamm collaborated with computational genomicist Dr. Alan Kwan to predict that it will be strikingly similar to a Jersey tanned Betty Boop. I know, I know. Evolution is totes NF. Plus, we’re here in God’s image now, so like…we can’t get any better and the whole primitive human thing is obviously a hoax, but regardless of your beliefs, it’s interesting to think about.

The assumption is that over time, we will mostly be genetically modifying ourselves, electing for more advantageous physical traits — mostly larger eyes and symmetrical faces (adhering to the golden ratio, 1:1.618). Over time, our heads are being said to get bigger to support our bigger brains, and skin will get darker, as its advantageous to have more melanin to protect us from the sun.

I can just see it. More beautiful, albeit, cartoonish-looking women scorning their modern men for behaving like men of today, much like we scorn our modern men for behaving like ~~neanderthals~~ men of today. With our beady eyes, unequipped for computer chip contact lenses, and imperfect features, making us discernable, we’ll practically be cave people.

The transgression is said to be as follows.

The modern man and woman. (Would not pee. Just saying.)

20,000 years. We have a larger head and slightly bigger eyes, and evidently Google Glass contact lenses (better to stalk you with, my dear). Somehow women become more attractive, and men less attractive. Perfect.

60,000 years. Snooks? Is that you? Apparently, in 60,000 years from now, basically everyone will be doing space exploration. Our eyes will be bigger which will help in outer space (the better to see it with?). We will also have thicker eyelids and darker skin to protect from UV rays.

100,000 years. We’ve gone full-blown alien, but in orange instead of green. At this point, every person will maintain perfect facial symmetry, which allegedly will mean that everyone is equally beautiful. You can look at this one of two ways. It’s either a really good thing, because people will only judge based on what’s on the inside, or it’s a really bad thing because people will only judge based on what’s on the inside.