Any minute now, Kate Middleton will be pushing a child through her royal vagina, and the world will like…care. Personally, I’ve never been very into Kate. I didn’t care about her engagement, I didn’t care about her wedding, I didn’t care when she got knocked up, and I don’t care now. I just…don’t really like her much. I mean, I get that her boofy was a Prince, but getting the nickname “Waity Katie” because you’re desperately attached to some guy who doesn’t want to marry you isn’t cute. Plus, she doesn’t seem like she’d be much fun to hang out with. “Oh, you want to stand on top of the bar and do the shot ski? Sorry, I can’t. All of England and the British Monarchy will judge me. Better not.” BO-fucking-RING. I like having the luxury of letting my hair down, sometimes. You know what I’m saying? I just can’t idolize someone who doesn’t value fun. The girl does have some great hair, though.
As is necessary, I must make the comparison between this presently unnamed soon-to-be baby and Nori West. I was way more excited about new American royalty than British, mainly because I have a serious affinity for the doughnut bun, oversized sunglasses, and a great blazer moment, all for which we have the Kardashian clan to thank. When it comes down to it, though, it really should never have been “Kim or Kate,” because they both suck. The tale of two bitties should really have been “Kourtney or Pippa” — everybody knows they’re the sisters that really matter. They’re more interesting, anyway.
I’d describe myself as generally apathetic regarding the whole “royal baby” thing. I’m not so disinterested that I’m annoyed by others’ interest, but I’m hardly sitting at the edge of my seat in anticipation. Some of you, however, can’t wait until the buzz has died down, so you can go back to your normal lives, with your normal social media filled people bitch about their love lives and posting photos of their dinners.
If you’re in the “I don’t give a shit” boat, you can use Tweetdeck to remove all “royal baby” news from your timeline. You can use the following steps to eradicate the heir to the throne from your timeline, completely. Get excited.
From The Washington Post
“Step 1. Pick the column that you want to filter, then click this arrow.”
“Step 2. Select the arrow in the ‘Content’ field.”
“Step 3. In the ‘Excluding’ tab, type the words or terms that you’d like to filter, in this case it’s ‘royalbaby.’ In the ‘Including’ tab, include retweets.”
“Step 4. Select the big arrow again, to collapse the filtering menu.”
And voila! Presto, changeo. No more royal baby tweets for you. Unfortunately, you still can’t exclude a person’s name from your timeline (I tried), so we’re still unable to block someone’s tweets without unfollowing them, which would literally have solved all of my problems. Doesn’t Twitter know we have social media etiquette to adhere to? Maybe some day…
[via Washington Post]
Image via Discovery News
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
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