The confidential online files of 72,000 people at the University of Delaware were hacked Monday morning. Files include social security numbers, addresses, and school ID numbers. Among those affected are past and current employees, and student employees, all of whom have been sent letters, notifying them that their information was hacked. As a compensation, the school will be offering those individuals free credit monitoring via Kroll Advisory Solutions. Anyone with a UD ID and password can click here to see if they’ve been hacked.
The university is working closely with the FBI officials and Mandiant. Security films are being investigated and a forensic investigation is prepared to be conducted. The hack took place when “cyber criminals attacked a vulnerability in software provided by a vendor for one of the university’s systems.” While the university works to prevent future hackings, they continue to actively search for the criminals.
Blue hens can agree that the likely suspects are the following (and if you didn’t go to Delaware, I’m sorry, a little because you might not get it, but mostly, because you didn’t go to UD):
A Newark, DE Townie: Fully aware that the best thing about their state, let alone their town is the college it houses, Newark townies are filled with resentment toward university staff, students, and other employees. They harbor a deep hatred for the school overrunning the town, and most importantly for the women, who are largely creeped out by their advances. In an effort to take Newark back, while unsuspecting students and employees are away for the summer, the townie may have pulled the ultimate prank on people for having made something of themselves.
Kirkbride Jesus Guy: Every school has a crazy man preaching to passersby about the dangers of intercourse, alcoholism, and partying. He uses the word of God to ensure students daily that they will undoubtedly be condemned to hell for their path. After years of harrassing students with his liturgy, he may have eventually realized that his message was lost on them, so he’s decided to take action on the university in other ways.
The Fat Wiener Dog: There’s this wiener dog at UD, and it is literally the fattest creature I’ve ever seen in my life. With its long body and little legs, I can’t even understand how the thing can stand, yet it always seems to be going for a walk. I couldn’t even tell you what its owner looks like, because I’ve been so distracted by the anomaly that was this animal each time I’ve seen it. Over the years, I’m sure it heard the whispers with its hypersensitive dog hearing. Look at that fat dog. Have you ever seen such a fat dog in your life? It can’t be a good feeling, constantly listening to that snickering. If it hasn’t died of heart failure by now, I can see him seeking revenge — hacking into the UD databases, and laughing maniacally as it says, “Who do you feel bad for now?!”
Bennie, The Hot Dog Vendor: The longtime owner of a hot dog and sandwich cart on the University of Delaware’s Main Street has recently closed up shop due to a decline in sales. He was a beloved Rastafarian-looking man who’s been serving up greasy hangover food to students for years. Despite his delicious meals and amiable demeanor, he is no longer able to stay in business. He seems the perfect suspect, taking out his vengeance on students and faculty who have clearly been under-appreciating a legend.
[via Philly.com]
Image via College Prowler
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
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