The only bad thing about Greek life, besides the possibility of becoming pole pals with your bestie, is all the mandatory speakers. Fuck if I care about some foreign policy in Uganda to fulfill my “politics” requirement. I’m only there because I puked on a Sigma Chi’s couch last night, and I want him to remember that I was once the effortlessly hot girl across the room, not the girl who went HAM on some Cheez-its before they ended up regurgitated on his furniture.
Apparently, though, University of Oregon administrators decided to make things, while slightly perverse, undoubtedly more interesting for their students. Sex columnist Dan Savage was paid $24,000 to speak to UO students about sex fetishes such as fisting and gorilla suit fetishes. I wish I could have been there, because…just kidding. I can’t even pretend to be into those things. Don’t worry, though, folks. Savage is a gay man, so college guys left his presentation, still having zero know-how when it comes to performing oral sex on a woman. His exact advice was “Fuck if I know.”
The guest speaker was brought in to promote UO’s new sex app, SexPositive. Oh, your school doesn’t have a sex app? Weird. You literally go to college to learn how to have sex with someone other than your high school sweetheart. the least your university could do is to bring some secondary media to the table. The app is simple. There are two virtual wheels to be spun. One wheel will land on a word such as “mouth,” “finger,” or “penis,” while the other wheel will land on a word such as “vagina,” “vibrator,” or “anal play,” then the app’s users are to follow the instructions. Isn’t learning fun?
[via The College Fix]
Image via Daily Mail
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
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