1. They don’t like cuddling. They tolerate it.
2. They think it’s “an invasion of privacy” when you read their Facebook messages. Proceed with caution.
3. A blow job can end any argument if you find yourself in the wrong.
4. A few of them might actually love Magic Mike. Most of them just know it’s the quickest way to make your panties hit the floor.
5. They aren’t just pretending not to understand you when you abbreviate. They actually have no idea what the fuck you’re saying.
6. Don’t trust them when they say they’re “not that drunk.” In this regard, they’re just like you. Only hairier.
7. They have a weird attachment to their t-shirts and expect to get them back. Keep them anyway.

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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