We all know that condoms suck, but you know what else sucks? The human papilloma virus. Just ask every single one of your friends. It’s guaranteed most of them have it. But that’s not like a regular STD. It’s a cool STD. I don’t even judge people for having that any more. It’s the grownup equivalent to “Have you had the chicken pox?” There are way ickier STDs out there. Chlamydia. Syphilis. Gonorrhea (which is a bitch to spell by the way, and this is coming from the 1996 first runner-up in the St. Francis Xavier Grammar School Spelling Bee for first grade). Using these three STDs as a metric, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) ranked each state in order of prevalence, then added the totals together to determine the states you’re most and least likely to get an STD. Ties were broken with Chlamydia, because it’s four times as prevalent as the other two, proving Coach Carr right.
Wouldn’t you know it, there’s a correlation between the South and a high risk of STDs, with eight of the top 10 and five of the top five coming from below the Mason-Dixon Line. Conversely, only one of the 10 best states to live in for STDs comes from our friends down in Dixie. Ironically, it’s West Virginia, which is weird because WVU. (But LOL at abstinence-only sex education.)
From Fox News, the 10 Best States (Lowest Rates) For STDs, and the 10 Worst States (Highest Rates) For STDs:
Best States For STDs
1. West Virginia (48th for chlamydia, 41st for gonorrhea, 49th for syphilis)
2. Maine (49th for chlamydia, 44th for gonorrhea, 43rd for syphilis)
3. Vermont (46th for chlamydia, 46th for gonorrhea, 44th for syphilis)
4. Utah (47th for chlamydia, 45th for gonorrhea, 42nd for syphilis)
5. Wyoming (37th for chlamydia, 50th for gonorrhea, 46th for syphilis)
6. Montana (35th for chlamydia, 48th for gonorrhea, 50th for syphilis)
7. Idaho (45th for chlamydia, 49th for gonorrhea, 38th for syphilis)
8. New Hampshire (50th for chlamydia, 47th for gonorrhea, 30th for syphilis)
9. Nebraska (38th for chlamydia, 32nd for gonorrhea, 48th for syphilis)
10. Minnesota (43rd for chlamydia, 36th for gonorrhea, 34th for syphilis)Worst States for STDs
10. North Carolina (10th for chlamydia, 6th for gonorrhea, 24th for syphilis)
9. New York (11th for chlamydia, 16th for gonorrhea, 7th for syphilis)
8. Texas (13th for chlamydia, 13th for gonorrhea, 6th for syphilis)
7. Illinois (9th for chlamydia, 10th for gonorrhea, 8th for syphilis)
6. Arkansas (7th for chlamydia, 7th for gonorrhea, 9th for syphilis)
5. South Carolina (5th for chlamydia, 4th for gonorrhea, 13th for syphilis)
4. Alabama (3rd for chlamydia, 3rd for gonorrhea, 15th for syphilis)
3. Georgia (8th for chlamydia, 5th for gonorrhea, 1st for syphilis)
2. Mississippi (1st for chlamydia, 1st for gonorrhea, 11th for syphilis)
1. Louisiana (4th for chlamydia, 2nd for gonorrhea, 3rd for syphilis)
[via Fox News]
Image via Green Forks
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
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