- Boobs. All feminist issues aside, they are a powerful tool that can get you free drinks, out of a parking ticket, or away with murder (probably).
- Freshly shaven legs on clean sheets is the most heavenly experience in the history of forever.
- You’ll never have to worry about getting kicked in the nuts.
- There is no better feeling than getting home after a long day and taking off your bra.
- Too weak to open a door? There are gentlemen to do that for you.
- Want to be an independent woman? Then open up your own damn door — more girl power to you.
- Your resting bitch face will always be understood and accepted. Unless it’s feared, in which case, win-win-win.
- Macarons that match your nail polish.
- Male empowerment is somewhat discouraged. Take advantage of the female revolution and be as strong, confident, and self-sufficient as you want.
- You’ll never have to shovel out money on Valentine’s Day. Well, unless you’re nice or something.
- There is no such thing as too many shoes.
- Even if you can open jars, there’s a good chance you’ll never have to if you don’t want to.
- Pinterest allows you to obsessively plan everything that you’ll never have to actually accomplish.
- If you cry enough, nobody can ever say no to you.
- Your drunk alter-egos are just as fabulous, if not better, than your sober self.
- “Can I get away with not wearing a bra with this?”
- Fill your closet until it’s bursting at the seams. There’s a reason fashion is geared toward women. You deserve to look the best.
- Dreaming of your wedding. It’s cliche and little naive but it feels good to daydream about a day focused around you.
- Facebook creeping is pretty much expected at this point.
- That best girlfriend you can always count on to hold your hair back.
- Glitter on everything.
- Feel free to spend as much time and energy on your Halloween costume as you want. It is ALWAYS worth it.
- There will always be another girl to hate someone with you.
- Guys are limited with their hairstyles. Feel free to grow it down to the floor or chop it all off. It will look great regardless.
- Always having a sweet and innocent face to get away with anything.
- There’s a reason the term “boy power” isn’t a thing.
- No color is too obnoxious or off-limits.
- Sex is strenuous. He’s got the dick, he should do all the work.
- Don’t feel like having sex at all? Shut the flood gates and watch Netflix until a better offer comes along.
- Being fluent in three languages: English, sarcasm, and eye rolls.
- Forever calling dibs on the little spoon.
- Drunk brunch.
- There is no air conditioner quite as wonderful as wearing a dress in the summer.
- There is no event that you couldn’t create a theme for.
- When you’re running low on cash and hungry, there’s always the free meal service dating.
- Boobs, again. There are two so they get credit twice.
- Sisterhood, in any form, is something that is so complex and indescribably perfect.
- Is there ever too much “Frozen?”
- Same goes for Disney.
- Laundry is too hard. Need (relatively) clean sheets to sleep on? Hang out at a bar, have a drunk guy take you home, “accidentally” fall asleep, wake up early and sneak away to procrastinate another day.
- Someone, somewhere is just waiting to give you a piggy-back ride home from the bar.
- No one will ever question your love for obsession with wine.
- The excuse, “because I’m a girl” is a beautiful thing.
- Same with, “I have my period.”
- Every girl you meet in the bathroom is your potential best friend for the night.
- Even if you feel like taking advantage of a masculine lifestyle, you can. Indulge in cigars, whiskey, and trucks and at the end of the day you can enjoy the fact that men really can’t do the same thing without some shame.
- Underwear is always optional.
Nice Move589
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Babe Lincoln
Babe Lincoln (@Babe__Lincoln) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move and spends the majority of her time knocking back Franzia and introducing herself as "the female Johnny Manziel."
@Babe__Lincoln
@_baberham
