She hasn’t had a full meal since she realized that she would be standing front and center at the start of every party for all the PNMs to judge.
Remember that snaggletoothed legacy who got dropped? Turns out her mother is a major foundation donor and she is PISSED.
Every time someone lets “see you later” slip at the end of a party, she has to endure a 15 minute lecture in front of everyone from PHC.
Because she has spent a lot of time with the other recruitment chairs and she swears that she is really the sane one.
Long after you’ve left the chapter room, she is still sitting in front of her laptop trying to decode the mystery that is ICS.
She is quickly running out of places to hide the fugly “decorations” the alums keep dropping off.
She got an earful from Nationals the day that your invite list was late.
She got an earful from your house mom when someone used the wrong tape for philanthropy day and chipped the dining room paint.
You really aren’t cheering loudly enough.
The sophomores won’t stop asking stupid questions.
The seniors refuse to show up on time just to prove how over it they are.
She sees more of the barista who opens Starbucks at 7 a.m. than her boyfriend.
She found the voodoo doll of her and she was not amused.
She secretly feels terrible telling girls they’re stuck on kitchen duty.
She has to lie to her parents every night: “Of course I’m going to class, Daddy. Nothing is more important than my academics.”
If the consultant from Nationals begins one more sentence with, “That is one way to do it, but at my chapter…” she is going to do her best Solange impression.
She hasn’t gone this long without a glass of wine since…ever.
If she makes it to pref night, the tears won’t be emotion, they’ll be exhaustion.
She has had stress dreams about members hugging PNMs since the day she got elected.
Believe it or not, she really does have better things to do than tell you to find a dress that doesn’t look like it belongs in a 2 Chainz video.
Because the recruitment wardrobe spending limit is more of a suggestion anyway. You look good don’t you?
Because the alums have made it clear that losing this legacy to the bitches across the street is the sorority equivalent of letting Will and Kate stroll into Philadelphia and reclaim the liberty bell as a jungle gym for George.
She spent half the summer making sure your chapter Tumblr walked the thin line between “hot” and “skanky.”
Every time someone reminds her that she actually campaigned for this misery, she cries a little on the inside.
Because she really does want the best for your chapter.
Nice Move482
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