Craigslist has some really weird shit on it. Among the desperate tenants trying to sublease post-apocalyptic apartments, creepy male-seeking-female ads, and idiots trying sell illegal, deadly snakes for upwards of $500, I think we’ve found one of the strangest ads yet. A bride-to-be is using the site to find people who are willing to rent out “six sociable corgis,” so that the bridesmaids in her “wonderful storybook wedding” can hold dogs instead of bouquets.
I can’t make this shit up. The woman legitimately wants her bridesmaids to hold corgis.
Image via Craigslist
Get real, lady. You can’t have your bridesmaids hold six damn corgis, and by the way, why the fuck would you want them to in the first place? They’re not going to pose for pictures the way your deluded mind thinks they will, they’re going to hate the fact that your probably equally insane bridesmaids are going to tote them around like living, breathing handbags, and I’d bet my left boob that at least three of them will pee on something everything. Also, as much as I wish that baked goods were a plausible form of compensation, you can’t pay people in cake. I’m guessing that anyone who has six corgis to pimp out is unemployed, so those little bitches are going to set you way back.
I feel bad knocking the corgi fanatic on her happy day, because I’m normally against people hating on brides’ choices for their weddings, even when they’re a little off-putting. However, these circumstances warrant some criticism. To be fair, corgis are awesome. Their abnormally short legs look like they don’t belong on their bodies, and the last time I watched a corgi try to walk down a steep staircase, I laughed so hard that I peed a little. But seriously, corgis instead of bouquets? This chick must have some intense psychological issues, or at least some kind of really bizarre fetish.
Regardless, I want an invite. That cake sounds dynamite, and if I’m lucky, there will be an open bar..
Image via Stuffpoint
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Lucky Jo
Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to [email protected].
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