1. People who don’t need to freak out about Ebola freaking out about Ebola.
2. Celebrities who already look 10 times more attractive than the rest of us still photoshopping their Instagram pictures.
3. People saying “no ragrets” after making dumb decisions.
4. The TFM/TSM comment trolls who keep asking the female writers for butt stuff.
5. Instagramming pictures of food.
6. Girls obsessing over their “eyebrow game.” They’re eyebrows. Everyone calm the fuck down.
7. The term “bae.” Literally any other pet name is optimal.
8. People you went to high school with — who never left your hometown and consider JCPenney a top-notch retailer — who post political articles and share idiotic opinions on Facebook.
9. Terrible Tinder pickup lines.
10. Candid pictures that aren’t actually candid and everyone knows it.
11. High schoolers saying “forever alone.” You are 15, calm down.
12. Screenshotting snapchats.
13. Boys who think they are Justin Bieber and choose to wear drop-crotch pants. It just makes them look like they have elephantiasis of the nuts.
14. The Taylor Swift obsession. I don’t understand it, and I’m not sorry.
15. Girls shaving half their heads. Every time I see one, I congratulate her for miraculously surviving a would-be fatal lawnmower attack.
16. Jean jackets. They should’ve never made a comeback.
17. Twerking. I’m amazed it’s lasted this long.
18. Tattoos of any of the following: infinity signs, feathers, dream catchers, Roman numerals.
19. Selfie sticks.
20. Claw nails. They are terrible, and like most things that annoy me, I blame the Kardashians.
21. Posters that read “Keep Calm And _____.”
22. Kimonos.
23. Guys you’ve never met who “slide in your DMs.”
24. Butt selfies. They make you look like a douche, and captioning a photo with “New jeans!” does not distract us from your narcissism.
25. Calling other girls or yourself “basic.”
26. Your “year in review” videos on Facebook. No one gives a shit about your year in review..
Nice Move804
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Lucky Jo
Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.
@Lucky__Jo
@lucyjmulvihill
letluuce
lucy@grandex.co
