Here at Total Sorority Move, we know bitches. It’s kind of our thing. Part of it is because all of us who work here are horrible people, but it’s also thanks to readers just like you. You allow us to come face-to-face with “mean girls” from all over the country. Because of emails, Instagram posts, and an excessive amount of social media stalking, you give us more material than we could ever use. Thanks to the fact that we’re all just mean, awful people, you make life interesting. Thank you. You keep us young — ugh, we love you so much.
This morning, I received an email tip that the baddest bitch in America might have been found, and she’s none other than a high school senior. On Monday, she posted one of the most aggressive, hysterical, “Are you effing kidding me?” pieces of Facebook literature that I’ve ever seen to the University of South Carolina’s class of 2019 page.
Not associating with GDIs? Majoring in frat boys? Minoring in mixed drinks? Who the fuck is this girl and why are we not friends yet?
That’s right. The next deranged sorority girl might just be on the loose, and she hasn’t even gone Greek yet. After Rebecca Martinson took the internet by storm by shitting all over her sorority and simultaneously giving zero fucks, I thought I had seen it all. LOL. I was so wrong. Watch out Becs, because there’s a new girl in town and she’s wreaking havoc before even setting foot on campus, which has to be a record. From denying Instagram requests (Who does that?) to only accepting rich as fuhhh roommates, we’re kind of terrified and kind of obsessed with the new girl. This unnamed freshman is going to give her university a run for its money, and honestly? We can’t wait to see what kind of trouble she gets into.
Oh, and BTW, you have a bid from TSM. You can totally sit with us..
Nice Move302
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Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
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