37 Thoughts Mindy Kaling Has On Dating

Mindy Kaling is all of us. If you haven’t seen The Mindy Project, borrow someone’s Hulu account and watch every episode immediately. ASAP. Pronto. You can thank me later. Mindy is hilarious, a little bit crazy (aren’t we all?), and the best friend we wish we all had. I’m not kidding; I would do anything to be best friends with Mindy Kaling. Her show is amazing, but for some strange reason, FOX cancelled The Mindy Project at the end of last season. Hulu picked it up, bless their beautiful souls, and the series is coming back tomorrow, September 14.

Here are a few of Mindy’s wise words as it applies to dating:

When you’re trying to think of all the reasons a guy should date you:
When the only guy who texts you is the pizza delivery guy:
When you’re so single that you actually consider dating the pizza delivery guy for the discount:
When you’re out at the bars with all your skinny friends:
When you’re trying to get your boyfriend to go to the pumpkin patch with you because #fall:
When you tell him you’ll have sex with him in the pumpkin patch and he still doesn’t want to go:
When you actually start to like a guy and then you find out he got back together with his ex:
When he tries to be cute and asks you how much you weigh:
When you try a new position in bed and it goes horribly wrong:
When the guy you’re dating is really hot but also really stupid:
When your boyfriend is wearing tight pants and it’s kind of hot but also kind of concerning:
When it doesn’t work out with a guy you liked and you’re trying to stay positive:
When your boyfriend tries to explain sports to you:
When your boyfriend makes you watch sports:
When your boyfriend makes fun of what you wear to school:
When you and your best friend are single at the same time:
When someone asks you what your type is:
When you’re trying to have a serious conversation with your boyfriend and he’s not listening:
When your boyfriend knows how picky you are:
When you’re single and your standards reach their lowest point ever:
When you have a fight and there’s only one thing that can cheer you up:
When you’re a little tipsy and see a hot guy checking you out at the exact moment you trip walking in your heels:
When a freshman hits on you:
When you’re really being honest with yourself about what’s important in a man:
When he asks you about your “number”:
When you drop a hint:
When you get back on Tinder:
When you get back on Tinder after binge watching Dexter:
When people ask you about yourself:
When you’re over hooking up:
When you’re doing it doggy style and he “slips”:
When your friend comes to you for dating advice:
When you make get too drunk on a first date and make a fool of yourself:
When he’s being sassy with you:
When you get irrationally angry at a guy for no reason at all:
When he says he wants to have a “talk” with you:
When every guy you date turns out to be a fuckboy and you’ve given up all hope.