We are a month into 2016, are you winning the New Year yet? Well, one of the things you need to do to make sure this year kicks ass is dropping the dead weight. No, not that extra weight around your hips – I mean the “friends” that aren’t doing you any good.

But how do you know when it’s “okay” to end a friendship? It’s almost easier to know when you should break up with your boyfriend than it is to know when you should end a friendship. But the fact of the matter is, there are plenty of times when it’s perfectly acceptable to end a friendship.

1. She doesn’t tell you that you look fat in that dress. Honesty is everything in a friendship.
2. She tells you that you look fat in that dress. You don’t need that kind of self-esteem killer in your life.
3. She doesn’t like every single Insta you post.
4. She doesn’t show up when you need her, whether it’s to hold your hair back, deliver soup when you’re sick, cry with you over a breakup, or clasp your hand at a funeral.
5. All she talks about is herself. So much so that she doesn’t know you changed your major or dumped Brad.
6. She becomes a vegan.
7. And talks about it incessantly.
8. And shames you when you eat pizza/burritos/anything that’s not tofu.
9. She posts pictures that she looks great in and you look like crap. A real friend only posts the pics you both look amazing in.
10. She wears Crocs.
11. Actually, she even owns Crocs.
12. She won’t ride shotgun when you want to drive by his place.
13. Who cares if it’s every night? Friends that stalk together stay together.
14. She doesn’t know your best angle when she takes your solo ‘gram.
15. Her lips are looser than spaghetti noodles. The only friends you need are ones you can trust with your secrets.
16. She’s seriously going to vote for Trump.
17. She doesn’t hate people just because you do. Loyalty is everything.
18. She uses #blessed non-ironically.
19. Or #fitspo.
20. Or she uses #way #too #many #hashtags #on #every #single #insta.
21. She’s a frenemy. Frenemy is a stupid word, because it doesn’t exist. You can either be a friend or an enemy, but not both.
22. She doesn’t block off your birthday weekend at least a year in advance.
23. Her Netflix account isn’t also your Netflix account. Selfish bitch.
24. She’s (insert any superlative here) than you. Thinner, prettier, smarter are all acceptable.
25. The only compliments she gives you are backhanded ones.
26. She goes to Starbs and doesn’t text to see if you want anything.
27. She doesn’t support your goals, whether it’s weight loss, grades, or finally talking to that guy in Psych class.
28. You’re only friends when she’s single.
29. She constantly starts group texts, which is pretty much like sending you to hell on the regular.
30. She hooks up with the guy you’ve been hooking up with.
31. Or that you’re talking to.
32. Or that you called dibs on fourteen months ago. Really, any guy you’ve ever expressed the slightest interest in is off limits.
33. She makes you feel bad about yourself to make herself feel better. That’s not just a crappy friend, that’s a shitty human..

Image via Shutterstock

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, and documenting her love of all things cheese related. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.

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