Every girl is a bitch at some point or another. It’s not our fault, though. There’s usually a dumb boy, lack of food, or something else vibrantly annoying causing our temper to rise. Here are some examples.
- Hangry bitch.
Just pick a place to eat. It’s not that hard, people. - Sleep-deprived bitch.
Leave me alone. I haven’t slept in weeks. - Sex-deprived bitch.
Leave me alone. I lost my vibrator. - Just-failed-my-final bitch.
Fuck all you honor roll people who will be successful someday. Strip pole classes would be a better investment than this college. - Just-got-off-the-phone-with-my-mother bitch.
Apparently, I need to go through her instead of dad for money now. - My-boyfriend-didn’t-text-me-back bitch.
Boys night, hmm? - Waiting-in-any-variant-of-a-line bitch.
This is it. This is how I die. Standing in this godforsaken line. - Didn’t-have-my-coffee-yet-bitch.
But first coffee. Or I’ll punch you in the face. - I-broke-some-sort-of-electronic-device-and-my-parents-are-going-to-kill-me bitch.
I’M NOT PANICKING. WHO SAID I’M PANICKING? - My-boyfriend-gave-me-granny-pajamas-for-Christmas bitch.
Is something medically wrong with you? - My-pants-don’t-fit-today bitch.
Sweatpants are all that fit me right now. - I-ran-out-of-clean-underwear bitch.
Dammit, now I have to do laundry. - I-can’t-believe-I-paid-to-see-this-movie bitch.
Can’t Trainwreck just stay in theaters forever? - No-New-Year’s-Eve-kiss bitch.
Hi, God. Why do you hate me? - No-Valentine’s-Day-date bitch.
Again, what do you have against me? - I-don’t-have-a-boyfriend-and-I’m-surrounded-by-relationships bitch.
I’m SO happy for you two! - I-have-a-boyfriend-but-all-my-friends-are-single bitch.
Girls night isn’t ruined! (I just have to leave in 10ish minutes and miss out on everything fun about being a young, twenty-something female. NBD.) - Just-got-my-period-bitch.
Why did I choose today of all days to wear WHITE pants? - I-don’t-have-my-period-but-you-think-I-got-my-period-just-because-I’m-being-a-bitch bitch.
Do you have your period? - Some-girl-is-trying-to-talk-to-my-boyfriend-at-the-party bitch.
Heyyyyy! Oh, you went to high school together? So cute! - My-boyfriend-doesn’t-understand-why-I’m-so-upset bitch.
He knows what he did. Oh, he knows. - Just-broke-up-with-my-dumbass-boyfriend bitch.
Why is everyone happy but me? - Late-for-something bitch.
Move. I need to straighten my hair, like, yesterday. - This-party-is-lame bitch.
Let’s go. This place is dumb. - The-food-I-ordered-is-wrong bitch.
I said scallops and you gave me chicken. CHICKEN. - My-best-friend-has-a-new-best-friend bitch.
Does what we have mean NOTHING to you? - I’m-fighting-with-my-roommate bitch.
*gives silent treatment* - The-Victoria’s-Secret-fashion-show-is-airing-tonight bitch.
Why can’t I be perfect, too? - I’m-stressed-out-of-my-mind bitch.
I have a million things due, a major event coming up, and my face is breaking out. Someone just shoot me. - My-spin-class-instructor-yelled-at-me bitch.
No. Sorry. I actually can’t “keep it up.” So, bye. - I-have-a-gluten-allergy bitch.
So, like, is there anything on this menu I can eat? Or no? - It’s-raining/snowing/hot/cold bitch.
I’m moving to California. - Recruitment-week bitch.
This is only trumped by being the recruitment chair. Look out that crazy mofo. - Spring-break-is-almost-here-and-I’m-still-fat bitch.
Great, I’m paying to look like a beached whale for a week. - Formal-is-coming-up-and-I still-don’t-have-a-date bitch.
I go through all the effort to have a boyfriend and he can’t even make it to this one event. Can’t coach just move the game to next Saturday? - I -have-a-date-but-he-sucks bitch.
I’ve only known you for five seconds and this night has already been too long for me to bear. - Everyone-sucks bitch.
Ugh. - Plain-old bitch.
All of the above. All of the time.
Life is so hard..
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