1. You only get along with guys.
2. You’ve cheated on a boyfriend.
3. You brag about your boyfriend on social media.
4. You brag about your fitness on social media.
5. Your makeup sucks.
6. You wore heels to a frat party.
7. You complain about your diet.
8. You used to be Shelly’s best friend but now you’re hanging out with Rebecca because she’s in two of your classes and Shelly is not happy about it.
9. Amy said she didn’t care if you made out with Brad because they just hooked up one time and so you did.
10. Amy lied. Amy does care.
11. You’re one of her top fifteen best friends — you should’ve known that.
12. You didn’t ask before borrowing your roommates’ clothes.
13. She would’ve said yes, but you still should’ve asked.
14. You have big boobs.
15. AND a big ass.
16. Come on. You can’t have both.
17. You’re a size zero.
18. You can pull off a middle part.
19. Or red lipstick.
20. You look cute with short hair.
21. You cut in front of the line of a frat house bathroom because “it’s an emergency.”
22. You complain about how much you hate your boyfriend to your single friends.
23. You complain about your weight to another girl who definitely weighs more than you.
24. You describe yourself as “classy.”
25. You have the worst Instagram captions.
26. And yet you still manage to have thousands of followers and get a ton of likes on a photo of pizza.
27. You’re basic AF.
28. And yet somehow you still get more guys than they do.
29. You’re a slut.
30. You put on weight and it all went to your boobs.
31. You’re a grown woman who wears bows in her hair.
32. Instead of welcoming your friends you see at a party with a hug or a wave, you scream. Loudly.
33. You don’t even scream their name, you just shriek.
34. You need someone to be your babysitter every time you have a sip of alcohol.
35. Your Snapchat story is so. freaking. long.
36. And half of it is just ten-second selfies.
37. You’re standards.

Just kidding. We’re all annoying sometimes. Love you, bitch. .

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Cristina Montemayor

Cristina is a Grandex Writer and Content Manager. She was an intern for over two years before she graduated a semester early to write about college full time, which makes absolutely no sense. She regretfully considers herself a Carrie, but is first and foremost a Rory. She tends to draw strong reactions from people. They are occasionally positive. You can find her in a bar as you're bending down to tie your shoes, drinking Dos XX and drunk crying to Elton John. Email her: [email protected] (not .com).

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