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31 Signs You’ve Been Single For Too Long

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  1. You’ve accepted your role as a third wheel.
  2. Or fourth. Or fifth.
  3. You’ve started to think you might actually stand a chance with your celebrity crush.
  4. You have trouble picturing yourself in a relationship.
  5. Me? A girlfriend? Do I even have time for that?
  6. Shave your legs? Meh.
  7. Shave your bikini area? Forget about it.
  8. Half of your bed: for sleeping.
  9. The other half: designated dirty clothes area
  10. You downloaded Tinder.
  11. Then deleted it.
  12. Downloaded it again.
  13. Then downloaded Bumble.
  14. You got to the point where you recognize the guys from app to app.
  15. Match.com is beginning to sound not so crazy.
  16. *boy likes Instagram photo* “omg does this mean he likes me?!”
  17. The only hand you’ve been holding is your manicurist’s.
  18. You truly don’t understand how people find rebounds so quickly.
  19. Where do you even meet guys?!
  20. Plus one events are panic inducing.
  21. So you always end up bringing a friend.
  22. You’ve tried figuring out what could possibly be making you so undateable.
  23. But you realized you’re perfect, and it’s definitely the options in your area.
  24. When you spot a happy couple your immediate reaction is an eye roll.
  25. Your family doesn’t even bother asking if there’s “someone special” in your life.
  26. What’s a date?
  27. You’ve thought about getting a pet.
  28. Or force the pet you already have into cuddling with you.
  29. RIP free food.
  30. You’ve thought about lowering your standards.
  31. Then laughed that off because not everyone deserves you.

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Rachel Page

Rachel enjoys spending her time thinking about Britney Spears, whining about being single, and thinking about Britney Spears. She doesn't take to criticism well, so be nice or so she will cry herself to sleep! Email: rpage@grandex.co

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