- Shotgun a beer. Even if you have to fake it and give up halfway through.
- And volunteer yourself for the chugging competition.
- Or your best friend who can’t swallow to save her life.
- Go TOFTB.
- And do it without a bra underneath. Because come on, you’re better than that.
- Hook up with a random.
- Or with your boyfriend/fuck buddy/FWB.
- Or yourself, okay? Just get off. At least once.
- Don’t text your ex.
- Sober. Just don’t text him sober.
- Two words: keg stand.
- Eat enough carbs to gain back all of that weight you lost in preparation for spring break, plus a little extra.
- And order the most high-cal high-sugar drink offered at the bar. You earned it after all of the weeks of turning down pizza.
- Speaking of pizza, pose with a slice. You know you want to.
- Ask someone to take a picture, and spend an embarrassingly long amount of time making sure it’s perfect.
- “Wait can you just take one more?”
- “No, like this.”
- “And now one with my back turned? Just make sure my shoulders look skinny, okay?”
- Get a free drink at every place you go to.
- And use a fake name with every try-hard guy who buys it for you.
- Be naked for activities that you would normally be clothed for.
- Like, swimming. Or running around. Or visiting your old FWB who decided to come on the trip with a different girl.
- Start drinking before noon.
- Start drinking tequila before noon.
- Have sex someplace unexpected, like the beach. Or your grandparent’s house.
- Wear a captain’s hat as much as physically possible.
- And put on pants as little as physically possible.
- Get a tattoo, a piercing, or some sort of hair wrap. Regret it later.
- Dance on an elevated surface or GTFO.
- Cry your little heart out in public.
- Make out with a girl. Just do it.
- Be in the center of a dance circle. If the whole entire crowd starts chanting your name, so be it.
- BODY SHOTS! BODY SHOTS!
- Tan like you’ve never tanned before.
- And wear a swimsuit that will give you horrible tan lines for the rest of the year.
- Pet some motherfucking puppies.
- Stay up for twenty-four hours. Or sleep twenty-four hours. Either is impressive.
- Mopeds? Consider driving around on mopeds.
- And you better be using a fanny pack everywhere you go.
- Binge on a little Netflix because otherwise you might actually go into withdrawals.
- Walk around on the beach at night and think deep thoughts. Like what you want to do with your life. And if your hotel room service will deliver mozzarella sticks.
- Think twice before adding something to your Snapchat story, then do it anyways.
- And do literally everything for the ‘gram.
- Shoot them down, live it up, and soak it in. You only get a few chances to take a week off from life to drink like it’s your job and flirt like it’s your major. Don’t waste it..
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