1. Be naked.
2. Just like, roll around on some recently cleaned sheets, butt-ass naked.
3. Bonus points if you’re freshly shaved/lotioned.
4. Eat a meal that you should totally not be eating in bed.
5. Like pizza with ranch.
6. Or General Tso’s.
7. Or ribs.
8. Invite a whole mess of puppies to play with you.
9. Just imagine playing in bed with a litter of six-week-old golden retriever pups. Yeah. That’s some good shit.
10. Hop out of the shower, still in a towel, and just exist for a while.
11. Stalk your ex for an embarrassing amount of time.
12. Then stalk your ex’s ex for an even more embarrassing amount of time.
13. Watch an absurd amount of Netflix.
14. And yes, close the blinds. You’re not moving anytime soon.
15. Turn on the most embarrassing guilty pleasure movie/show you can find, grab a tube of cookie dough and go to town. Sounds basic AF, but it doesn’t even matter when you’re sobbing your eyes out over Noah and Allie (again) while 3/4 deep into a container of Toll House.
16. Sleep. Just do a whole bunch of sleeping.
17. And sleep wayyyy past your alarm.
18. Get a body pillow and cuddle the shit out of it.
19. Or a boyfriend. Honestly, either will work just as well.
20. Instagram a picture of you doing something cool, and pretend it’s happening right now.
21. Because yes, you are at a bar hanging out with hot foreign guys instead of lounging in bed wearing a facial mask and socks.
22. Oh. Put on a facial mask. And white strips. And ugly but-oh-so-soft socks. Trust.
23. Cake.
24. Invite your best friend over. Lay in bed while bitching about your other best friend.
25. Work off a killer hangover.
26. Call your mom and complain about how hard your life is.
27. “Accidently” Snapchat that guy who ghosted on you.
28. Oh no! Did you forget to put on a shirt? Whoops.
29. Spill some water on the bed and just roll over to avoid it instead of actually cleaning it up.
30. Use the extra space as a place for your clothes (both dirty and clean), your laptop, and your dignity.
31. Take some bomb selfies, then delete them because you’re not going to post a fucking selfie.
32. Undelete a few of them, just in case.
33. Text the person you have plans with and say that you’re “on your way.”
34. Or just say you’re sick and get out of the whole event to do some more bed laying.
35. Have pretend conversations with your celebrity crush, that girl you hate, and that bitch at the store who cut you in line who you never actually said anything to but REALLY wanted to.
36. Make a nest out of every single pillow, blanket, and throw you have, and pretend that you’re not on a shitty twin bed with a mouth-breathing roommate a few feet away.
37. Idk. Bang?

Pervs..

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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