1. Girls would come.
2. Every time.
3. And then the guys would rub one out in the bathroom while we slept.
4. The next morning the guys would carry their sneakers on their way home.
5. Girls would get high fives for their sexual escapades.
6. While guys would get sneered at.
7. Girls would throw on the first clean shirt they saw and go out.
8. Guys would stare in the mirror for hours, picking at their face and asking their roommate if they look fat.
9. It would be acceptable for girls to yell crude compliments at guys.
10. “Ay boy, what dat dick do?”
11. “Your eyes sparkle like the diamond ring you’d buy for me.”
12. “Oooh, I’d love to take that ass to HomeGoods and pick out a gender neutral comforter and then fuck on it.”
13. Girls would publicly itch their vag lips.
14. And adjust their tits.
15. Guys would get their periods.
16. And girls would act completely indifferent towards their struggles.
17. Manscara would be not just encouraged, but expected.
18. Guys would call each other “just to talk.”
19. Guys would be mocked for intently watching sports.
20. And for talking like they know the people on the teams.
21. And for wearing a shirt with another guy’s last name on the back.
22. Doing things “like a girl” would be a compliment.
23. Guys at the gym would be banned to the ellipticals and treadmills.
24. And any of them who dared use a machine or free weights would be ostracized by women.
25. Girls wouldn’t have to apologize for trying to speak in class.
26. Or add to a conversation.
27. Or being in someone’s way.
28. Or just being.
29. All political leaders would be women.
30. So there would be no wars.
31. Just a lot of shit talking.
32. Girls would rub their crotches on random guys in bars.
33. And guys could do nothing about it.
34. Except start dancing on their friends until the girl went away.
35. Sororities would throw bangers, dude.
36. They would decide who gets into said bangers based on hotness.
37. Only 8s and above.
38. Unless they brought alcohol.
39. And three other 8s.
40. Every party would be Gray Sweatpants themed.
41. Because girls would get to wear sweatpants.
42. And gray sweatpants is the most revealing thing a guy can wear.
43. There would be no such thing as bras.
44. Or bronzer.
45. Or thongs.
46. Or bikini waxes.
47. Or any waxing for that matter.
48. Girls would make more money than guys.
49. And guys would lose their fucking minds.

Sounds like the world I’d want to live in..

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Ali Hin

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to sratbroTSM@gmail.com or by smoke signal.

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