I have a love-hate relationship with formal season. I love getting dressed up, and I certainly love the idea of doing some old school grinding while surrounded by my friends. I just hate shopping. I don’t have enough time or patience, and it seems like -shockingly!- nothing ever fits me like it fits the models. In my ideal world, I would roll up to the pregame wearing my pajamas, have a never-ending supply of pizza, and would be hot and fun enough to cause the guy I was hanging out with to want to commit to being my boyfriend forever. But alas, life isn’t a fairy tale, so instead, I have to online shop for a dress like everyone else.
- Ugh. Formal is coming up. I need to get a dress.
- Should I buy something? I should probably wear a dress I already have.
- *checks bank account*
- Yeah, I should definitely wear a dress I already have.
- But my closet is so dark, and boring.
- I mean, don’t get me wrong, black on black is the most stylist look of any season, but it’s spring.
- But, like, all my dresses are like fall dresses.
- I mean, I’m not going to wear a faux velvet dress in April.
- It doesn’t matter if it’s sleeveless and short. It’s not a spring dress.
- I guess I have a couple of spring dresses, but they’re just not that cute anymore.
- I wonder if I should organize a clothing swap.
- I could invite Lindsey. Her closet is basically my Pinterest dream closet. I would take her cast-off, barely wore, two-year-old rejects in a heartbeat.
- Why am I looking at dresses again?
- Oh right, formal.
- Yeah, I’m just gonna buy something.
- I wonder if I can sneak this onto my mom’s credit card without her noticing.
- Oh well, even if she does, this is kind of necessary. Does she want her daughter to be known as the house outfit repeater? That almost ruined Lizzie McGuire.
- And if Lizzie McGuire struggles to bounce back from something, I’m done for.
- If I do put it on my mom’s card, I should probably go cheap, though.
- I have a free shipping coupon from Tobi that is going to expire soon, so I have to use it anyway. Honesly, not using it would be a waste of money.
- She should be proud that I am being so economical.
- What color should I get?
- If I get anything too bright, I’ll be forced to get a tan.
- But if I get something too dark, I’ll also need to get a tan so I don’t look like a ghost.
- Okay, so I’ll have to tan either way. It doesn’t matter.
- Is it tacky to match my dress to the sorority’s colors?
- It’s not my fault that I look so good in light blue.
- Whatever, I’m doing it.
- If I go long, I’m gonna be tripping all over the dress all night.
- Plus, I’ll be forced to wear my highest heels, and my date’s not that tall.
- I mean, he’s taller than me, but he’s only like, 5’10.
- So… short dress it is.
- I hope it doesn’t hit me at a weird length.
- Oh, this is cute.
- But it looks weird on the model, and if she can’t pull it, there is no way in hell I can.
- Can I wear a romper to formal?
- Jk, I’m not a toddler. And I pee literally hundreds of times a day.
- Can’t I just go in like, pajamas?
- I’ll wear my nicest, cutest ones! I’ll even wash them.
- Oh, here’s one! It’s so cute. And a little sexy.
- Am I aggressively sexy enough to pull that off?
- My boobs have been looking particularly full lately. Thank you, Pilates.
- Wait, is it slutty to show both cleavage and leg?
- What about side boob? It’s doesn’t really count unless you see nipple, right?
- Never mind. I def can’t pull that off.
- God, why is it so hard to find a dress?
- Forget it. I’ll just raid Lindsey’s closet..