There you are — so many hours into a “Flip or Flop” marathon and you actually begin to memorize the workers on the show. All of the episodes follow the same general timeline (they buy a house, disaster strikes, and they still end up making thousands of dollars) and yet you can’t look away. There’s just something about this whole channel that feeds your needs and you’ve never understood why… until now.
1. Chip and Joanna Gaines are real relationship goals.
Screw Kimye, when you grow up and lock down a hubby (hey, it could happen) you have high hopes that you’ll live just like the Gaines fam. It’s the way Chip looks at Joanna like she’s the prettiest thing in the room. It’s the way Joanna looks at Chip like he could not be anymore ridiculous, but loves him anyways. They make living and working look like the most amazing experience and we’d all be lucky to be half that happy with our jobs. Not to mention their adorable children and beautiful home.
2. You envy Christina’s lululemon collection.
Seriously how much lulu can one lady own? We’re never sure whether Christina wears the athletica apparel to work out or for every day, but either way she looks damn fine doing it. She has all of their cutest tank tops with the built in sports bras and you couldn’t be more jealous. It took enough for you just to invest in one pair of lulu leggings. This bitch easily has 50. You’re not sure whether to continue buying your Forever21 workout apparel or to save your bucks and get a spray tan to look just like Tarek’s right hand woman.
3. “House Hunters” fuels your desire to always be right.
We all know that “House Hunters” is actually one of those interactive game shows. After listening to couples complain about the wall colors of three different houses for 28 minutes, it all comes down to the final decision. Which house will they choose? You’ve never been more competitive than you are at this moment. For some reason it always seems to be House #3 and if it isn’t, well, then the homeowners chose wrong and would’ve been better off letting you choose for them. You knew what this couple wanted more than they knew themselves. But if you didn’t guess right during this episode, don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll stick around for at least five more chances. “Love It or List It” feeds your betting addiction. They always “love it” because people are afraid of change, right?
4. You imagine if the HGTV dream home was your chapter house.
On the sandy beaches of someplace with sandy beaches or the prepster’s haven of Martha’s Vineyard, you see the commercials advertising the mansions and can only imagine what life could be. You make it a point to enter in the contest every single day on the off chance that you’ll be the winner. You’re not even really sure if a 20-year-old can own a house, but it’s worth a shot anyway. Imagine the mountain weekends or spring breaks you could throw in such beautiful places. You’d love to move your whole chapter out there, drop out of school, and sip wine on the balconies. You convince your mom, little, and a bunch of others to enter the contest every single day because that home will. be. yours.
5. You argue with your sisters over which Property Brother is hotter.
Drew. No Jonathan. Neither. Both. It’s an argument that will never be settled. Fifty percent of the time you’re watching the show, you’re simply just trying to answer this question. You’re not sure how it’s possible that one identical twin could be hotter than the other, but dammit, it is. Some of your sisters prefer Drew, the professional, groomed, suit and tie brother, while some prefer Jonathan, the scruffy, masculine, hard-working brother. It’s really always up in the air. What’s this show even about anyway?
6. But we all know Tarek is the actual hottest.
Ah, Tarek. We all know Christina is one lucky lady. No only is he a looker, but treats the ladies in his life just the way any lady would like to be treated. He makes sure that Christina always gets her way with material finishes, and still manages to be the muscular leader of the household. And those episodes where he interacts with their daughter? Don’t even get me started. If he isn’t perfect husband material, I don’t know who is.
7. You base your study abroad destination on “House Hunters International.”
Because after a 30-minute international episode, you’re automatically an expert on all things regarding the new country. The episode with the cute little bungalow in Costa Rica really got you thinking about making that your home for the next semester. The culture looked so interesting, not to mention the open floor plans. But the townhouse in Germany also caught your eye. Although the streets looked really packed and you didn’t really want to spend four months in the chaos. The countryside of Madrid convinced you that Spain was the answer. Until you realized a majority of the houses lacked adequate closet space and decided this probably wasn’t the best method to find your abroad location.
And if those weren’t enough reasons, we all know you secretly watch the channel to fulfill your dreams of being an interior designer that are never going to come true. Hanging a tapestry in your college bedroom really isn’t a talent, but you keep telling yourself that..
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Blackout_B
Blackout_B (@b_m4rie) enjoys drinking beer by the gallon and making memories she'll never actually remember. When she isn't embarrassing herself by making out with randos on the dance floor, you can find her pretending it's normal to drink a glass of wine with breakfast every day. It's fun to sit down with her on Sunday mornings and hear how fucked up her weekend was.
@b_m4rie
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