“Hipster” is thrown around a lot these days. We use label that for people who look like they shop at Whole Foods and probably didn’t play sports in high school. There’s even different types of hipsters: college hipsters, edgy hipsters, and retro hipsters. Because it’s so common, you may be asking yourself: am I a hipster? But fear not, there are definitive signs.

1. Your glasses have tortoise shell on them.
2. Your wear ugly clothes ironically.
3. Like Birkenstocks.
4. And Crocs.
5. You refuse to eat certain foods even though you aren’t allergic to them.
6. Your eating habits aren’t a joke and are always a topic of conversation.
7. You have made your own clothes.
8. Your favorite color is burgundy.
9. You frequently say “I ________ed before it was mainstream.”
10. You frequently say the word “mainstream.”
11. You are sexually attracted to handlebar mustaches.
12. Or man buns.
13. Or long beards.
14. Or low muscle tone.
15. Your entire outfit doesn’t agree with which season it is.
16. When people ask you who your favorite artist is, you say Andy Warhol instead of a
    singer/band.
17. You have piercings somewhere other than your ears.
18. You can wear crop tops in the daytime and pull it off.
19. Same goes for lipstick.
20. And rainbow colored hair.
21. Flannel is an essential part of your wardrobe.
22. You are majoring in some sort of arts or photography.
23. Your tattoos require extensive explanation.
24. Or has no explanation at all.
25. You ride your bike more than you drive your compact, fuel-efficient car.
26. You wear tights.
27. You own more than one article of clothing that is suede.
28. If you turned on the radio, you would not recognize a single song.
29. If it’s not on record, you haven’t heard it.
30. Your Instagram pictures rarely include you.
31. You’re feeling the Bern.
32. You live in a city/have dreams of living in a city.
33. You order drinks that have only “natural ingredients.”
34. Like mojitos.
35. Or beers darker than the devil’s asshole.
36. You go to music festivals, but you don’t even go near the main stage.
37. You think you were born in the wrong generation.
38. You get called “ma’am.”
39. And you never get carded.
40. You prefer handwriting to typing.
41. Your measly doodles could be hung up in museums.
42. You’re reading this on a library computer because you’re still rockin’ a flip phone..

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Ali Hin

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to sratbroTSM@gmail.com or by smoke signal.

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