Shut it down, everyone. Go home. Because this guy has the best Tinder profile of all time. A 33-year-old guy named Brady put just a little extra thought into his and it’s absolutely fucking ridiculous, but I can guarantee he’s drowning in it, simply because it’s something different.
Yes, he has a powerpoint presentation on why you should swipe right. Are any of these actual reasons? Let’s see.
• MBA — I can smell the money now.
• Guitar — Sure. That gets the ladies going.
• Kung Fu — Uhhh, okay, whatever, we all have our quirks. Glad you’re passionate about something.
• Exercises 5-6 times a week — Wait. Go back.
• Handyman — Okay, redeeming yourself from that whole “exercise” thing. I don’t have a house or the need for a handyman, but watching guys do guy shit is hot.
• Loves performing and listening to music — You have too many passions now. My only passion is wine.
• Loves cupcakes — now you’re just saying random things.
You literally already said all of this already except Karaoke and hugs. I don’t know what kind of game you’re running with “hugs” being your hobby, but I can get down to some karaoke.
Oh, sir. You get more fun after midnight. I’m picking up what you’re putting down, assuming you’re putting down the D.
Profile checks out. Swipe right..
Nice Move132
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
@VeronicaRuckh
@VeronicaRuckh
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