To say that society has taken a turn for the basic would be the understatement of the century. Unicorn frappucinos, marble iPhone cases, and PSLs have become a standard on today’s Instagram feeds, and it’s my personal belief that we’re worse for it. Instagram is where all good trends go to die, and since prosecco is seriously having a moment right now, we should have all known that it was only a matter of time before it stopped being enjoyable as is, and started being consumed by the social media army of basics. Diet prosecco was the first trend, although that one I could definitely get behind because swimsuit season. However, once prosecco nail polish hit the market (yes, really), I knew my favorite poolside beverage would be manipulated in all sorts of horrible ways to make the social media posts of every white girl this summer stand out. Unfortunately, it appears I was right because rose gold prosecco glitter is now a thing because we don’t have enough ways to be basic enough already.
UK company Lakeland created a product called PopABall rose gold glitter. Sprinkle a heaping spoonful into your prosecco, and your once-respectable drink turns into a shimmery raspberry abomination that somehow resembles the bottles of nail polish I used to use at 12 years old.If you’re into drinks with a creepily chemical composure (read: Unicorn fraps), PopABall is definitely for you because this stuff looks toxic AF. However, if your goal is be on top of Instagram trends, order away so you can be the first of your friends to mutilate a perfectly good bottle of bubbly this way.
Does it get more ridiculous? You bet it does. Not only is this rose gold glitter (seriously, isn’t rose gold over yet?), but add this to your drink and you’ll see dainty little gold leaf hearts floating around everywhere. Is gold leaf even safe for humans to consume? Who cares!! The point isn’t to actually enjoy your drink; no, if that were the case, you’d leave it alone. The point is to get more likes, and what does that better than rose gold chemical foil?
If your goal for the summer is to get drunk on bubbles, then give this stuff a pass; however, if you want to hold the title of queen of the basics, you’d better get on the wait list for this stuff ASAP because you’d better believe every other basic bitch on the planet has already ordered so much of it that this product is currently out of stock. Of course, you could always drink your prosecco straight as God clearly intended, but if you don’t get 50 extra likes on your post, did you even have fun drinking it? How you consume your prosecco is up to you, but you can bet that I’m not waiting for a canister of glitter to start popping bottles..
[via Food and Wine]
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RecruitmentChairTSM
RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at RecruitChairTSM@gmail.com
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