“So it seems like you’ve had quite a few visitors this week,” Naomi’s RA Nichole said, closing the door to her room behind her.
“Oh, really? Quite a few? What did they look like?” Naomi asked. This was her moment. She was going to find out who her big was.
“What do you mean, ‘what did they look like?’ They’re your visitors.”
“I mean, I know they’re technically my visitors, and they’ve been signing in under my name, but, like, technically I don’t know who they are.”
“So you’re not only letting people into the building. You’re letting strangers into the building.”
“Well, no, they’re not really strangers. I know them. Or at least one of them. I just don’t know like which person I know it is.” This was not helping her case, so she added a hopeful “But my roommate might!” upon seeing her RA’s disapproving face.
This week was the long-anticipated Big-Little Week. And Naomi would be full of absolute shit if she said she didn’t think the girl waiting to see her at the week’s end wouldn’t have a profound effect on the rest of her life. Naomi and her instant pledge class best friend Ashley had been busy for the past several weeks being inundated with “spontaneous” hangouts with older girls in the sorority.
Their pledge class had already been pretty clearly divided by the actives into two main “cliques.” The good girls who would be groomed for future e-board positions, and the bad girls who’d soon be corrupted into oblivion. Little did the older girls know, that Naomi and Ashley came pre-corrupted — at least they liked to think so. They’d been to a bunch of group dinners with the degenerate clique of the older pledge class, most of whom had raspy voices from partying, and from secretly smoking the occasional cigarette. But, like, only when they were drunk.
Of all the group dinners, one-on-one lunches, and pedicures, and coffee dates, though, Naomi was most excited about Margot. Margot was a sophomore poli sci major who lived in off-campus “party apartments” with Whitney, and together, the two of them had pretty much acquired Naomi and Ashley. And unlike all the “official” big/little dates, Margot and Whitney had invited them to a super illegal, off-limits, in-no-way-condoned-by-the-sorority apartment party. The guys hosting it were in Delta Pi.
“Cooper, you fucking piece of shit,” Whitney shouted, “take that shot and come meet the Rho Lambda babies. As promised.”
“This is Naomi and Ashley,” Margot said, gesturing toward them as Whitney melted into Cooper’s arms. “How hot are they?”
Cooper, a senior in a backwards hat, letters, and the sharpest jawline Naomi had ever seen, took a sip of his Natty Light as he gave the girls an up-and-down.
“Pretty hot,” he said, giving Whitney a slap on the ass, followed by a kiss on the head. “I’m Cooper.” He extended his hand out to them, and then yelled “Someone get these freshmen a beer!”
“Ummm, they don’t need to drink your gross fucking beer,” Whitney scolded. “Do you have vodka and Crystal Light? I told you to get it for us.”
“Ohhhh, don’t tell me you two don’t drink beer either?”
“Sorry…” Ashley offered, half-apologetically.
“Jesus, how did you immediately find these two out of all fifty-two pledges” a second, slightly larger guy with dark hair and five o’clock shadow asked. “You’re like your own little quad from high-maintenance hell.”
“First of all, Matt, quota was 63 this year,” Margot corrected.
“Biggest pledge class ever!” Whitney added.
“And I. Fucking. Love. That name for us. We are SO ‘The Quad.’”
And that night, The Quad was born. Naomi and Ashley didn’t even care to flirt with any of the guys. They were just too obsessed with the friendships they were forming. It was absolutely the drunkest Naomi had been in her life, and she hardly remembered most of the night. She’d played (and won) three games of beer pong with her mixed drink, until she and Margot fell laughing, at a terrible gorilla-esque impression they couldn’t stop doing over one of the guys.
She fell asleep for no longer than twenty seconds on a stool by the kitchen island with her head resting in her hand, before a voice said “Margot! Come get your hot little! She needs to go home.”
“Shhh. She’s not my little yet,” Margot whispered. “Come on, my little monkey lover, let’s go home.”
Margot took Naomi home, and held her hair back for exactly 40 minutes, before getting her changed and bringing her to bed. Naomi woke up in the morning, learned she’d actually been asleep at the party for half an hour while Ashley made out with (and later went home with) a Delta Pi pledge. They giggled as they recounted their night, and skipped class to go get bagels.
When Naomi finally got home, she was ecstatic. It was like dating. She felt so comfortable with this older girl, who was so happy to look after her.
Naturally, her soul was crushed during the first day of Big/Little Week when she received the following text from Margot:
“Hey monkey lover– I don’t know how to say this, but I just felt like I had to tell you so you don’t get your spirits up. I’m not your big. And it’s not because we don’t love each other enough. I had you ranked as my number one little. But so did the girl who’s actually your big. And I guess not a lot of people ranked her in their top 5, so they paired you together, because I guess you had her ranked higher than others did or whatever. But we’re still monkey lovers, and we can still hang out all the time, and now it’s because we choose to and not because we have to! I love you so much. And I promise your big is fab. I just wanted you to know.”
Naomi looked back up at her RA.
“I have, like, a guess of who it is. I think it’s this girl Michelle. You see, it’s Big/Little Week in my sorority, and all the littles — that’s me, and like my new pledge class — are assigned, well, like, sort of you pick, but really it’s more like you’re assigned, a new big sister, like sort of a mentor within the sorority. But it’s a secret who your big is.”
“Why is it a secret?”
“I don’t know. They like to crush our souls. And mostly for all the presents, and deliveries, and pranks.”
“Pranks like your photo being plastered all over the hallways and your bras being ziplined across the common area?”
“Yeah! And all my left shoes being redistributed to every room on the floor!”
“Yeah, all that shit is against the rules. You and your guests can’t be disrupting the other residents like that.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“I’m going to have to give you an official warning.”
“Wait. Really? We can’t just let this be an unofficial warning?”
“‘Fraid not, toots. Hope your big is worth it.”
“Ugh,” Naomi sighed. “Me too.”.
Read other installments in this series:
Part 4: A College Freshman Explains Her First Billhighway Statement To Her Dad
Part 3: A College Freshman Explains Bid Day To Her GDI Roommate
Part 2: A College Freshman Explains Recruitment To Her Younger Sister
Part 1: A College Freshman Explains Her Credit Card Statement To Her Dad Before She Goes Through Recruitment
Nice Move197
Respond
Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
@VeronicaRuckh
@VeronicaRuckh
vmruckh
veronica@grandex.co
