Yesterday, we published a silly column about the importance of having a frat best friend. It was a silly account about how frat guys are fun to hook up with, but even more fun to be platonic with, because they’ll always be down to party and also treat you like a lady.
And then a user called BoomCityJayhawk left a comment about falling in love with his sorority best friend. And honestly, I normally roll my eyes at love stories, but this is something incredible.
The following has been edited slightly for grammar.
I was the friend zoned fraternity boy in college. I had that exact type of “one of a kind” friendship with a DG. Painful as it was to read, this article is almost perfectly correct. The only things she left out about the FBF were his true feelings and dreams.
Sure, we were best friends. And some guys, like myself, will willingly enter this friendship. My best friend used to crawl into bed with me in the morning after she woke up from the previous evening’s mistake with my pledge brother. And you know I thought every time she did it? “You see, she WANTS to be in your bed. You’re doing great. Just keep going and she’ll see you for what you really are; absolutely perfect for her.”
The only reason a fraternity boy accepts the “friend zone” is because he’s in love with you. You already know this, but you convince yourself that he’s not. Only love would make a man buy you gifts, shower you with attention, nurture your feelings, and righteously protect your honor while you live the dream that is being a single sorority girl. He convinces himself that the emotional intimacy you share will eventually lead to physical intimacy and the perfect relationship. I had that, and I had it BAAAAD. Not only did she sleep with my pledge brother, but it was in the same sleeping dorm AND on the other side of a half wall from my bed. I could hear them whispering when I went to bed, and then I would see her first thing in the morning when she woke me up. Falling asleep was my nightmare. Waking up was my dream come true.
I was so head over heels, That I went out of my way to pick up the chivalry slack on HER dates. My pledge brother was emotionally and financially cheap, but I wasn’t about to let that ruin her college experience. One time, we double dated to her first spring formal. She took my unworthy pledge brother, and she volunteered me to escort one of her shy and single sisters. Before the evening started, I tried to coach my pledge brother into becoming the prince charming that I thought she deserved. All week, I dropped hints:
“Is your suit clean? You don’t want to be the only one in khakis.”
“I hadn’t thought about it.”
“Sure, it’s her formal, but you’re still going to pay, aren’t you?”
“She said she can pay, so I’m good.”
“Just because she CAN pay for it doesn’t mean that she should…”
“Well dinner is included in the ticket price so it won’t be that bad.”
I almost got sick. Sick from rage that this person got to play the role that I longed for in her life, and sick that she was going to have a terrible time. So I vowed to give my Cinderella the ball of her dreams, even if I had to puppeteer her Prince Charming myself. At the beginning of the night, at the pre-formal bar, she gave me her fake ID to hold (so that if the police showed up, only I would get arrested) and then she gave me $20 and their first drink order. I returned from the bar with four drinks: one for myself, my own date, my best friend, and my pledge brother. We slammed double Redbull cranberry vodkas like every moron 19-year-old does, and my best friend told me to keep the change to use throughout the evening for her and my pledge brother’s drinks. She was persistent to command me to notify her once that money was gone so that she could continue to pay for her own formal all night. Silly girl, I saw that coming a mile away and had planned accordingly. Not once did I tell her that her funds had diminished. I paid for my drinks, my date’s drinks, her drinks, and her date’s drinks. This was a formal so it was at a “nice” restaurant (by college standards), and did not have college prices.
I spent $575 that night on the bar tab. And she had the best formal ever. At the end of the night, as she was walking with my pledge brother into our sleeping dorm to spend the night, she stopped in my room to ask me a question. “Hey, before I forget, was there any change to the 20 bucks I gave you?”
“Oh yeah girl, let me get that back to you before you go to bed.”
So I walked up to her and I put her original $20 bill back in her hand. She got really confused, and looked at me and said “I don’t understand…” I just cocked a smile. Now was the moment for my grand finale.
“No gentleman would ever allow a lady to pay for her own drinks during a formal affair. There are three things a woman should never touch on a perfect night; door handles, backs of chairs, and the check. You’re my best friend and I’ll be damned if I was going to let a cheap date ruin your first formal.”
She didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. She just gave me a look that I’ll never forget. It was as if her eyes said “One day I’m going to marry you.” And we just stood there in silence, memorizing everything that had happened in the last five minutes so that we could tell this story for the rest of our lives. My pledge brother’s voice broke the silence.
“Hey so I’m going to bed. Are you going to stay with me tonight or is he going to take you home?” She looked at him with tears still in her eyes and just nodded. As she walked out the door she still didn’t say a word, she just looked at me and mouthed the words “I love you.” In that moment it was all worth it. I would’ve spent $5000 for that moment. I didn’t care that she slept with my pledge brother that night. He had her body, but I was getting closer to her heart. And then the next morning, she crawled into bed with me..
Nice Move692
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
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