A Heartfelt Farewell To My Long Hair

A Heartfelt Farewell To My Long Hair

I just want to start off by apologizing. I know you must feel blindsided by what seemed like a sudden decision on my part, but I did not make this choice easily. I know I always told you that I loved you, that you were the best thing about me, and that I could never live without you. I don’t want you to think any of that was a lie, because it wasn’t. Trust me, this has been harder on me than you could have ever imagined.

You have been there for me through it all. I think back on all the formals, mixers, and nights out, and you know what? The first thing I remember is that YOU were my best accessory. Everyone always complimented me — us. They were jealous of you. I tried to act all blasé, but I fucking loved it. I lived for the praise and the adoration.

I realize that maybe sometimes I took you for granted and I want to apologize for that. I’m sorry for all those times I got too drunk and puked on you. You didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry I hooked up with some fuckboy and let him cum on you. You definitely didn’t deserve. I’m sorry for those times when I woke up late or was too lazy to give you the attention you needed in the morning. You still looked great, I mean, you always look phenomenal, but I should’ve respected you enough to give you the attention and care you deserved. I’m sorry for it all, and I hope you can forgive me one day.

I also want to take the time to thank you. Over the years, no one has ever really understood me quite like you do. You were there for me when my grandfather passed away during my junior year of high school. I remember how therapeutic it was for me to just sit and play with you for hours on end while I tried to register the loss and heartbreak. You’ve always been my security blanket. No matter how self-conscious I may feel about my body, my outfit, going into an interview, or going on a date, I always knew I never needed to worry about you because you are always on fleek. Thank you for that.

I respect and appreciate you too much to feed you some bullshit line about how “it’s not you, it’s me.” I’m going to be honest here, I’m getting older. I’m looking towards my career now, and certain things need to change. As I go into the job application and interview process, certain things are expected of me in order to succeed. I can’t be the carefree college girl forever; I need to adopt a more professional look.

Know this, this is not a goodbye forever, but instead, a goodbye for now. In a few years, when I become established in my career, we will be able to have a sweet, sweet reunion. When that happens, know that I will never leave you again.

To my beloved long hair, even though we must take some time apart for now, no matter what my hair looks like on the outside, just know that I will always be a long-haired bitch on the inside.

Until we meet again,

xoxo, me.

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Champagne Showers is a contributing writer for TSM. She is your typical Northern Diva. If curse words, sexual content, and drug use offend you, then bless your heart. CS will continue living the life you're too scared to live. email her at:

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