1. Finish an entire series on Netflix in less than a week. Don’t be afraid to skip out on important occasions, such as weddings or funerals. Season six isn’t going to finish itself.
2. Custom make a T-shirt that says, “Please don’t make me do stuff.” Wear it religiously.
3. Eat Nutella directly from the container.
4. Find an equally lazy boy who lives nearby. Insist that you two only hang out at your place, because you’re allergic to his ceiling fan.
5. Refer to walks between the kitchen and your bedroom as “exercise.”
6. “Exercise” five times a day.
7. Memorize your credit card number so that ordering food for delivery online becomes second nature for you.
8. Install clap-on clap-off lights.
9. Revisit your old Mary Kate and Ashley VHSs.
10. Throw away perfectly good Tupperware in lieu of cleaning it.
11. Conduct several experiments to see just how long the human body can survive in one pair of sweatpants.
12. After the experiment’s conclusion, refrain from wearing pants for the rest of the summer months.
13. Order Chinese delivery so often that the owner, who barely speaks English, knows your regular order and address–as well as intimate details about your life.
14. Go a month without making your bed.
15. Because you’re in it the entire time.
16. Search “free cats” on Craigslist. Make it happen if you find one to your liking (but only if someone is willing to deliver the feline directly to you).
17. Watch a movie while sitting in close proximity to a window. Tell everyone you sunbathed for two hours.
a book the back of every cereal box in your pantry.
19. Become captivated by everything that shitty, daytime television has to offer. Lose yourself in a routine of educational and hard-hitting shows, like “Jerry Springer” and “Maury.”
20. Learn how to eat a full meal lying down.