Try to make those cute candy-corn Jello shots you saw on Pinterest.
Inevitably screw it up and toss the sad orange goo.
Get frustrated and mix the remaining Burnett’s in a large bowl with some Hawaiian Punch.
Ahhh the sweet smell of freshmen mistakes and low standards.
Reminisce about a more carefree time when you could go out every night without five papers, four tests and three group projects waiting for your hungover ass to start Sunday.
Briefly consider being a responsible adult and not going out every night of Halloweekend.
Fuck it!
Start taking shots to make you forget about your responsibilities.
Remember you still need to get ready.
Change your costume a minimum of five times.
Regret counting walking to class as your only exercise.
Consider wearing a trash bag and going as your ex.
Inevitably go with the first costume you tried on because it makes your legs look best.
Your best friend comes over early to get ready.
Take more shots.
Attempt to do hair and makeup but your face is already a little fuzzy.
Whatever, it’ll be dark anyways.
Come downstairs to find a friend-of-a-friend drinking your top shelf Tequila.
Snatch the bottle away as nicely as possible while mentally ripping them a new one.
Get distracted by someone’s boyfriend falling and breaking your Styrofoam cooler.
No sooner do you finish sweeping up that mess than someone else has dropped your favorite wine glass because they’re apparently too good for solo cups.
Stop the dog from licking everything up.
Realize you don’t own a dog.
Take more shots because clearly you’re not drunk enough yet.
Spot the girl you hate who clearly wasn’t invited. Compliment her costume only because yours is better and you’re feeling generous.
In fact, you don’t even stop the drunk people from eating all your food. Decide your diet starts tomorrow.
Leave your roommates to deal with the drunk guys peeing in the bushes so you can party hop.
Have an infinitely better time at random frats because you’re no longer babysitting a bunch of drunks.
Still try to babysit your less drunk little by feeding her all the water until she yells at you that’s Vodka.
Take a sip. Yup, that is indeed vodka.
Conclude you’re actually the drunk one.
Do the puke and rally.
Uber to downtown bars in case there’s someone who still hasn’t seen your costume.
Make some strangers buy you drinks and leave before they can talk to you.
Decide your missing phone is a good sign you should return home.
Turn the light’s off upon your arrival to kick everyone out so you can go to bed.
Suddenly realize you don’t recognize anyone in your house.
Leave the neighbor’s house.
Kick out the still conscious drunk people from your bedroom, bathroom, and even off the roof. Marvel that no one fell off.
Pass out fully clothed with contacts still in, knowing you’ll regret this in the morning.
Wake up to pee.
See the sticky beer-stained disaster that is now your house.
Go back to bed and sleep til it’s time to go out tomorrow night.
Sincerely hope your roommates clean everything up before you have to.
Vow to never throw another party as long as you live.
Already know some promises aren’t meant to be kept.
Nice Move219
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