There are two kinds of people in the world. First, there are the ones who get home after a long day of work, take off their uncomfortable clothes, eat some ice cream, and fall asleep. They’re normal people living normal lives and they just want to relax.
And then, there are the rest of us. The gross, naughty, dirty people. You know who you are. You get home, take off your uncomfortable clothes, eat some ice cream, and then get yourself off as many times as possible before you fall asleep. It’s not like you plan it. It’s just a part of your lifestyle, like brushing your teeth or stalking your ex while you’re peeing.
It just is what it is. And we’re totally cool with it. So cool, in fact, that a shit ton of us do it. The Chive recently released some very interesting information about our lady-porn habits, and I just have to say:
We’re all really, really fucked up. And I kind of love it.
Pornhub did the heavy lifting in this study (LOL) to see what, exactly, us ladyfolk like to view when we have a little “me” time. According to The Chive:
Images via The Chive
Images via The Chive
Images via The ChiveSo, I think we need to have a little chat. First, props to us for being the generation of females who watches porn the most. This is one small step for equality, one giant leap for orgasm-kind. As for looking up lesbian porn the most, no concerns there. Time and time again it has been proven that straight and lesbian ladies like watching gay porn the most because it’s usually more sensual, and focuses on foreplay, instead of just, you know, plowing. Besides, no one likes the “under the balls” camera angle.
But my concern here is the top porn star search. I hope it’s just people finally getting around to watching Kim’s sex tape and not an actual masturbatory aid. And Farrah? Farrah fucking Abraham? Come on, guys. You’re better than that. Your vaginas are better than that.
So to all of my fellow sickos out there, great job making the charts for something other than being annoying on social media. And to those of you who aren’t on the porn game, the time is now. Grab some batteries and some wine and get to work. Trust me, we’re all doing it (and ourselves)..
[via The Chive]
Image via Shutterstock
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Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
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