Amanda Bynes Politely Requests That Drake Murder Her Vagina

Amanda Bynes has successfully completed her downward spiral into former child star hell. Her latest tweet indicates she’s like someone’s awkward mom, who doesn’t realize people can see what she’s saying on the interwebz. We were all rooting for old school Amanda of She’s the Man to return, but instead we’re left with this weirdly pierced abomination, who tweets shit like this:

First of all, vagina murder sounds equal parts terrifying and vulgar. Rumor has it Amanda was dating Kid Cudi last, so I guess she’s searching for the rapper of her delusional dreams. She and Drake are both Jewish, so I would have definitely seen the potential of a real love match, here, if she hadn’t been looking so ratchet, lately. They could have told their grandchildren they met when she asked him to slay her Pikachu in front of all of America.

Other Amanda Bynes Twitter highlights include:

She’s currently only following five people, so I’m pretty sure she needs to up her meds. She also claims:

I’m almost 200% sure that’s a lie, and I can’t wait to see what she claims to have invented next. The internet? It’s been done. DUIs? She’s certainly mastered those. The tendency child stars have to spiral out of control? That’s been an expectation for years, but admittedly, she and Lilo have recently monopolized the market on it, the difference being Amanda waited until America thought she was normal to get truly bizarre.

My personal favorite, however, is:

That sounds like a great band name, and I think Amanda could be the lead singer. After all, back when she wasn’t begging famed rappers to slaughter her wizard’s sleeve, she sang like an angel in Hairspray and Easy A. So, Amanda, if you’re reading this, shut it down. No more murder tweets, no more DUIs, and take out those cheek piercings. You can only hope you’re not left with gaping holes gone awry, in more places than one.

[via Gawker and Twitter]

Image via Twitter


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Fleur de Lilly

Fleur de Lilly (@margaretabrams) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move and Post Grad Problems. When she's not corrupting her big's baby, she can be found decoding texts, gravitating towards raised surfaces, and spending time with her gentleman caller, Jack Daniels. She loves Lilly, Louisiana, and her lineage.

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