Are you READY for some vagina jokes, people? Because Schume-dog is back with a new Netflix special, coming to you March 7. That’s in just a week. Named, “The Leather Special” after a poor choice in ensemble, it’s something to get excited about.
My girl Amy has caught some flack recently. Not really for anything other than being too mainstream, and not tragic enough in the “cocaine and collarbones” way, so stan Twitter has turned on her. And a lot of people are ~over~ her talking about her pussy — a word I can comfortably say now thanks to the orange man in the White House. But frankly, I think we need MORE pussy talk. But this time, let’s start calling it a twat. It will be fun to switch things up.
Anyway, there’s more to her newest set than just her vagina.
There’s also penis! And I’m sorry, but she makes a good point. Guys DON’T care about how they taste. Because if they did, no one would ever have to swallow again! Unless….
If alllll the cumshots were lemon drops and gum drops
Oh, what a rain that would be
Cash me outside with my mouth open wide.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
Unfortunately, that’s not the world we live in. And dick snot still tastes like snot that literally comes out of a dick. Sad! But at least we have Amy’s new special, to make us feel better about it. Rejoice..
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at [email protected]
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