An Agonizing Play By Play Of The Hell That Was The Day Brian Didn’t Text Me

An Agonizing Play By Play Of The Hell That Was The Day Brian Didn't Text Me

8 a.m.
Hit the snooze button three times, but check your phone the first time you wake up to make sure he sent you a good morning text. Oh, he didn’t… but he’s probably still sleeping, so I’m just going to go back to sleep too. I’m sure he’ll have texted me by the time I wake up again.

9 a.m.
Wow, what a good extra hour. I’m ready to kick today’s ass even though I am already thirty minutes late to class. I can’t wait to see what Brian said to me this morning. I dreamt about him all night. Ugh, what the fuck. Why hasn’t he texted me yet? Not even a good morning? I guess I should chill, it is only 9. He’s probably asleep or in class or something. Wait, why has he already posted to Snapchat? “Everyone have a beautiful day?” Are you fucking kidding me, Brian? He didn’t even send it to me.

12 p.m.
It’s been three hours that I’ve been existent and conscious and active on social media and Brian HAS NOT texted me. I know that I shouldn’t be like, clingy and annoying, but I am clingy and annoying. It’s who I am as a person, doesn’t he know that by now? It is lunch time, so I guess I’m just going to stress eat and sit in the student center for an hour and a half hoping to run into him. Any excuse to get extra fries.

3 p.m.
I have gone into a full on panic. Why are boys so stupid? It is 3 p.m. Do you know how many things have already happened today that I haven’t talked to Brian about!? Jessica had an emotional breakdown because she didn’t get on exec and she skipped studying for her test so she could try to convince everyone in the house to vote for her. I heard a rumor that Kelly hooked up with Mason over the weekend and everyone is pissed because they have the most annoying relationship EVER. And I walked past my ex on the way to class and I couldn’t even pretend I was on the phone WITH BRIAN BECAUSE HE HASN’T TEXTED ME YET TODAY. Maybe he just hasn’t been on his phone a lot today? I know he’s tweeted three times, liked seven Instagram pictures, and has shared two videos on Facebook, but maybe he’s just been really busy.

6 p.m.
A Snapchat. Thank. Fuggin. God. A miracle sent from heaven. He has thought about me today. It’s not a text, but it is a form of communication. So what if it disappears in five seconds and no girl snooping through his phone will ever infer that we are together because of it. I know, and that’s all that matters. A selfie. How cute is he. Even though boy selfies still freak me out, I can let it slide because it’s Brian. Oh, fuck no. He mass snapped. The same selfie is on his Snapchat story. What does he think this is? Fuck your stupid mass selfie, Brian. Not to mention, he hasn’t looked at one snap on my story. Are we fighting? Is he mad at me? Did I scare him away? Is he having sex with another girl as we speak?

8 p.m.
I don’t even know what to think. I thought everything was going so well. Why does this always happen to me? Am I doomed to be alone forever? Are all guys really afraid of commitment? Do I just have horrible taste in men who don’t care about me? I guess I could text him first, but like, no. I have to keep some form of mystery about me. That’s what keeps guys coming back after all, right? Okay, I’ll give it until 8:45, then I’ll text him.

8:45 p.m.
I’ll give it until 9:30 to text him.

9:30 p.m.
Okay I’ll text him when I get in bed. I have to shower and stuff anyway. And then maybe he’ll text me while I’m in the shower.

11:00 p.m.
I got so anxious to check my phone when I got out of the shower for nothing. Okay, now is my chance, I at least need to touch base with him so I am on his mind for a little while. It’s probably better that it’s late because now I’ll be the last thing he thinks about.

“Hey Brian! How was your day!?”

“Good! So long tho, going to sleep now. Night!”

Is this a fucking joke? Everyone knows that “night” and “goodnight” are two totally different things. I’m done with him. Or at least until he texts me tomorrow.

Image via Shutterstock

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