An All-Encompassing Guide To Surviving Easter Brunch


Family events are a minefield, and I’m going to walk you through one of the more underrated ones: Easter brunch. Since Easter break falls at a weird time in the semester (pretty close to spring break, but also close to graduation) most people either go home, or go to the event of a friend’s family. If you find yourself in either of these situations, here’s how to make it out alive:

Worst Case Scenario: You’re With Your Own Family

If you’re one of those people going home for Easter, bless you. Easter brunch is like Christmas dinner on crack. At Christmas, everyone asks you those dreaded questions about your relationship status, academic future, etc. Easter is even worse. By Easter, everyone expects you to have real, legitimate answers to those questions. Even if you have those answers, repeating them over and over and hearing all the opinions about them that you didn’t ask for always makes you doubt yourself.

How To Deal:

  1. Plan Your Answers
    Everyone will ask the same questions they always do, so prepare your answers ahead of time. If you have real answers, you’re pretty much Gucci. But if you don’t, come up with some really good vague phrases like, “I have several prospects, but I’m keeping my options open,” or “I have a lot of decisions to make, but I’ll let everyone know once I have concrete plans.”
  2. Dress for Success
    There are so many times in life to take a fashion risk, but this is not one of them. Unless you want to be constantly fielding comments on the length of your skirt or dress, play it safe. God forbid you’ve gained any weight since the last time anyone present saw you, wear a damn shift and be done with it.
  3. Drink on the DL
    Easter, just like any other family event, is really just one big game of “How Drunk Can I Get Before Anyone Notices.” I definitely recommend taking a flask just in case you get cut off after two glasses of wine.

Best Case Scenario: You’re With A Friend’s Family

This is the single greatest situation to ever be in. All pros, literally zero cons. I am a huge believer in the brunch with other people’s families.

How To Deal:

  1. Wear Anything
    Obviously, dress a little nicer and be appropriate for the occasion. But if anyone does have an opinion on your outfit, odds are they aren’t going to tell you, since they’re not your actual family. If there is any judgment, they’ll keep it to themselves, and if you don’t hear the criticism, does it even matter?
  2. Lie
    Ah yes, the best part of all. Unlike with your own family, where at any point your mom could ruin your perfectly crafted fake future, no one here has a clue what you’re up to. If they ask about your boyfriend, invent the perfect one! Or, as I may or may not have done before, show them that one good picture you have of you and that one guy and craft a beautiful fake love story. If they ask about your future, the world is your oyster! I have been a pre-med student going to Johns Hopkins with plans to join Doctors Without Borders. I’ve been an education major looking forward to working with Teach for America over the summer. The crazier, the better. You can definitely tell the truth, but if you’re getting bored, or haven’t figured out the rest of your life yet, why not embellish a lot a little?
  3. Drink Up, Baby
    It’s brunch, and everyone knows that that means bottomless mimosas. Just like with the outfit you chose, it’s highly unlikely that anyone will comment on your alcohol consumption, since they’re not your real mother after all. Just definitely don’t make out with anyone’s sibling. It never ends well, I assure you.

With any luck you’ll be spending your Sunday with someone else’s family, with more free booze and none of the judgment. If you were crazy enough to go home and face your family (on purpose?), bless your heart and good luck.

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PlattyBlonde is a senior who divides her time responsibly between cheap alcohol, bad boys, and worrying about her hair.

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