I thought I met my best friend in high school. I know what everyone says. Once you go away to college, you’ll meet your forever friends and slowly drift away from your high school friends. People say that your high school friends are just friends out of convenience, that you really didn’t have any other options so you made the best with what you had. I’ll be honest. I thought my best friend and I were different, that we would beat the odds, so to speak. I was wrong.
The first time I realized I was no longer my high school BFF’s best friend was a weird, surreal experience. It was sophomore year and our communication during the school year had become increasingly sparse. Maybe a funny tweet here or a clever Instagram comment there, but that was really it. My HSBFF posted an Insta from the previous night with a girl who had become a recurring star in her pictures and captioned it with a generic saying along the lines of being “#blessed to have such an amazing best friend.” I realized that I had been replaced. It didn’t matter that I had replaced my HSBFF with my big and pledge class besties, it still hurt.
My HSBFF went to a university near our hometown so when I was home on a random break, we made plans for me to visit. I got to see the girl I once considered my sister, but I also got to meet the “new me.” The weird thing was, I loved her. She was funny, witty, sarcastic, and beautiful. She was a sweetheart and seemed genuinely excited to meet me. I spent all weekend with the two of them and it was like the three of us had been friends for years. Conversation flowed easily, we partied, we laughed, and we made some unforgettable memories.
As I was leaving though, I had a sad realization. This was probably going to be the last time my HSBFF and I hung out like this. I had become increasingly busy with school, sorority life, and internships, and my HSBFF became more occupied with her respective activities. I stopped coming home for the summer, opting instead for jobs in my college town. I came home for fewer and fewer breaks, choosing instead to travel with my sorority sisters. I still see my HSBFF, although it’s limited to Thanksgiving and Christmas, if that. But it’s okay, because I know she’s in good hands. In a weird way, meeting my replacement was a way for us to finally move on from a friendship that, while special and amazing, had reached its end.
So, to my HSBFF’s new best friend, know that I don’t resent you. In fact, I’m happy for you. I know what an awesome person our mutual friend is. She’s the most generous and kind-hearted girl on the planet and you should consider yourself lucky to be in her inner circle. But know that this privilege comes with a certain set of responsibilities. It’s now your job to know that when she doesn’t enthusiastically greet you with a “Hey BB,” it means she’s upset and needs to talk. It’s now on you to know that when her first love posts a picture of him and his new girl (the girl he cheated on our friend with) at a hockey game, you need to immediately make plans for a wine night. He first told her he loved her at a hockey game and even all these years later, it still hurts. But most importantly, it’s now your responsibility to watch out for her. She seems strong, but we both know how sensitive she really is.
From a former BFF to a current BFF, take care of our girl..