Did anybody know that Miss Philippines USA was a thing? Me neither. I’m not super into pageants, because I don’t like to pay attention to anyone who is prettier than I am. Mostly, though, I think they are a bit ridiculous. Not because I have a problem with beauty being celebrated, but because being in pageants is literally only cool if you win them. If you don’t win, you’re just the 18-year-old freak show who is still doing beauty pageants. If I met a girl who was some local title-holder, or worse, a runner-up, I could never take her seriously. What’s more, is that these girls are the Honey boo-boos of yesteryear. When they were three, they would have been on Toddlers and Tiaras and everyone would have been laughing at them (or at least at their mothers). For whatever reason, I just never stopped laughing at them. Luckily, they keep making it so easy to do.
Miss Philippines USA 2013 contestant Joanlia Lising was recently asked which of the five senses she’d choose to have if she had to pick one. This is her response:
If you had trouble understanding, she said the following:
If I have to pick out of FIVE senses, I would pick seeing, because seeing is the best sense that we can ever see, because seeing is believing and believing into what you see is perfect. And…out of all those senses seeing…would maybe…be wonderful, because thank you. That’ll be it.
Way to bow out gracefully. “That’ll be it.” This is hardly the first offense at a beauty pageant.
Most of us never got to see a 2010 Miss Universe runner-up from Australia.
Sunblock. The word you’re looking for is sunblock.
Miss Venezuela struggled at Miss Universe 2012.
The language barrier is tricky here, but I think she said something along the lines of:
“I think that any laws there are in constitution or in life are already made. I think that we should have a straight way to go in our similar or in our lives as it is. For example, I (must refer?) and I think the best way I can take is the way that I wait for it. So please, do our only laws we can do.”
Miss Utah screwed things up big time at Miss USA 2013.
And the woman who started it all, Miss Teen South Carolina 2007.
Kills me. Listen, folks. These women are beautiful, and it might be all they have going for them. It is after all a beauty pageant, so why are they being judged based on their intelligence? You don’t go to a science fair and have the contestants do a catwalk before deciding who made the best volcano, so why do these girls need to pretend to be smart by way of “stating the question in their answer.” It does provide some quality entertainment, though.
[via Gawker]
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
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