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Apparently Men Are Done With Curvy Girls And Like Skinny Bitches Again Because Life Isn’t Fair

Guys like TSwift Over Kim K

This just in! Guys like skinny bitches again! What a shocker!

Apparently, the whole curvy girl movement was a total lie. Because LOL at being lied to by a man, amiright ladies? According to Daily Mail, a major study was done, and, SPOILER ALERT: Guys like Taylor Swift’s body over Kim Kardashian’s. You know, Taylor Swift, the psycho bitch who is obsessed with cats and can’t keep a man? Her tall, slender frame was favored over Kim’s voluptuous, sexy frame. A frame that literally says, “I can take a dick.” Out of those two bodies, the cat girl’s body won.

BRB, crying into my burrito bowl.

In the article, data, science, and “findings” decided to be a total bitch and conclude that…

A major study involving almost 60,000 volunteers rating almost 1,000 variations of the female figure discovered tall and slender is more attractive than curvy and hourglass-shaped. It is a result which contradicts the views of millions attracted over the decades to the more voluptuous pin ups from Marilyn Monroe to Page Three Girls.

Basically, they showed pervy guys (and gals) tons of different body types with little changes. Big boobs, little boobs, thick legs, skinny legs, so on and so forth. These people then picked their favorite lady forms while most likely jerking it. That last part isn’t confirmed, but let’s be real. They’re sitting in front of a computer, and agreeing to do a study that involves “looking at hot ladies.” Yeah, you know what demographic clicked on that shit. Anyway, the top picks moved on to the next round, where more horny people jerked off and picked their favorite forms.

Aren’t beauty standards fun?

As the study progressed, scientists found some really disturbing results.

The researchers found was that in every generation, the 60 lowest rated body shapes were generally the fattest, shortest and roundest of the computerized figures. As each generation progressed, the favoured shape evolved into a taller, slimmer female figure with long, slender legs and a thin waist.

According to the article, 80 percent of the people who participated in this study were male. Again, shocking. So, what does this whole charade conclude? “Tall and thin is preferred to short and curvy.”

Well, ladies. It’s been fun. We had our run (JK, we don’t run), but I guess now it’s time to pack it up and take our child-bearing hips elsewhere. Apparently the boys aren’t chasing that “boom boom.” The amount of junk boys want is no junk. They don’t want to hold extra booty at night. It was a lie, Meghan Trainor. It was all a lie.

It’s a sad day for us all. Once again, science decided to take us out to dinner, fuck us, leave in the morning, and call us fat. Thanks a lot. But hey, look at the bright side, at least we have carbs. And carbs will always, always love us.

[via Daily Mail]

Image via Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com, Twitter

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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