Apparently Weed Dick Is The New Whiskey Dick And We Should All Be Very Concerned

In these sexually riveting college years, there are some major buzzkills that are sure to ruin any girl’s night. A few of these include whiney female cockblocks, unforgiving bouncers, and sober neighbors who aren’t afraid to call the cops when the volume hits 40. The worst, however, is whiskey dick.

Much like a hangover, the only thing you can do when the whiskey dick hits is allow enough time to pass for it to go away. Also like a hangover, it makes us want to punch ourselves in the face and scream “WHY ME?!” while an impromptu violinist stands in the corner and provides a fitting soundtrack to our woes. Life is so hard.

A new study suggests that marijuana may play a similar role as alcohol does towards your guy’s performance. Apparently cannabis can effect certain receptors in the penis’s erectile tissue, which is really ironic considering the fact that that half joint you smoked after he invited you to “Netflix and chill” was probably the reason you felt comfortable enough to wind up in his bed in the first place.

The best part is that scientists are starting to second guess the accuracy behind some guys’ claims that weed actually makes them last longer in bed, because they now realize that the same guys who say they lasted a long time were also stoned as fuck and not actually realizing how long it was. They now know that the same low-life who claims he can visit pound town for a solid thirty minutes was probably just too high to realize it was a mere two and a half.

Like all mind altering substances, the effects are different for each person, which means that your token junky slam could be great in bed despite his slight addiction to the devil’s lettuce. Happy humping, stoners.

[via Playboy]

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