Ever headed out for night on the town, and just as you walked up to the bar to order that first drink, you thought, “Gee, maybe I should go to the restroom real quick and see if that sexcapade I had a couple weeks ago has resulted in a literal bundle of buzzkill?” Yeah, me neither. However, that’s exactly what the University of Alaska, along with Alaska State Senator Pete Kelly, would like the young women of Alaska to do, prior to that first drink of the night in an effort to combat fetal alcohol syndrome.
First of all, you’d think attacking this problem at the source–you know, preventing unplanned fertilization in the first place–would be the more logical route. Nope, not according to Mr. Kelly, who has been quoted saying that birth control is for women “who don’t act responsibly.” Last time I checked, the daily birth control pill popping 21-year-old wins the responsibility award over the unexpected, out of wedlock pregnancy every time.
Secondly, if you think you might seriously be pregnant, you probably aren’t in the going out mood anyway. Also, is your local dive bar bathroom really the place you want to find out that kind of news? I have this absurd image in my head of a hysterical, crying girl walking out of the bathroom every few hours and the entire establishment clapping in congratulations.
For what it’s worth, my advice to the young women of Alaska (or anywhere for that matter) is if you legitimately think your lover might have accidentally slipped one past the goalie or just left the goalie on the bench altogether, DON’T DRINK. Go get a pregnancy test and take it in the privacy of your own bathroom. If all is clear, then go drink. A LOT. And oh yeah, wrap it up next time.