I’ve never had a boyfriend. Being of college age and saying that almost sounds like a dirty secret or a sin, but I’m simply stating a fact. Oddly enough, I am a romance junkie at heart. I felt physical pain when I learned Scott and Kourtney decided to separate, and despite the corny plot and lack of decent dialogue, I’m a sucker for anything Nicholas Sparks. Extra points awarded if it includes Channing Tatum or Ryan Gosling as the lead. But I’m not desperately looking to change my single status. In fact, I’m okay with being alone.
Of course you have sisters if you want some company, but alone in the sense that no boys are knocking on your door, or really even texting you back. All of my friends constantly complain about being single or how they’re going to be “forever alone.” I get the joke and trust me, I’ve made it quite a few times of my own. Mostly in reference to the discovery I made that I have the uncanny ability to repel any guy after they inevitably discover my inner crazy. But I rarely hear my guy friends gathering around to complain just how “single as fuck” they are. Never have I witnessed them question why they can’t find the right girl as they spoon heaping piles of froyo into their mouths. Of course, there are guys out there that are dying to be in relationships, but they don’t seem to bitch about it all the time.
I absolutely despise those sayings that preach “loving yourself before anyone else can.” Of course, there are things I hate about myself. I hate the fact that I have been personally victimized by tequila on several occasions, I hate how I feel the unwavering need to Snapchat my Starbucks drink, and I hate that I will never be the effortlessly cute girl with the body of a Victoria’s Secret Angel. But I am comfortable with myself. I can spend a day alone without completely going insane. I am perfectly aware of the person I am, and I’m okay with that person (most of the time). I don’t need a boy to validate how hot I am or a guy to make me feel like I’m worthy. I have my Instagram likes and comments for that (joking, kind of).
Sure spooning feels nice… until you feel the raging boner under his pants. And dates are fun… until you have to awkwardly pretend to grab your wallet. But so are nights where you watch Netflix with your friends and drink wine. Sometimes there will be Saturday nights spent — dare I say it — alone. If a guy isn’t taking the time to text you back or hang out with you with your clothes on, you aren’t a priority. Stop making him yours. Put your phone down and go for a run or something (haha kidding, don’t put yourself in that kind of physical pain).
You don’t have to be the grumpy cynical love hater. Miranda already covered that for you in Sex in the City and she did it as annoyingly as possible. Be happy for your friends in relationships as long as they’re happy. If the guy is a douche, there’s very little you can do to end things between them… other than murder, but that doesn’t end well for anyone and disposing of bodies is SUPER time consuming.
Don’t feel like you should be settling for someone because you’re desperate for a couple of cute Instagram posts and someone to send you “good morning” texts. You also don’t have to bone anything with a pulse when you’re single. Even in a generation with so many different types of relationship statuses, you can just be comfortable with being in a committed relationship with yourself and with pizza.
Invest in a good friends-with-benefits or an even better, a vibrator..