Being In A Serious Relationship With A Frat Guy Basically Makes You Greek Royalty

Dating Greek Makes You Royalty

Joining Greek life is like receiving a key to this magical place full of drinking, debauchery, and the best friendships you’ll ever know. No one on the outside will ever understand what you do or why you do it. It’s a secret club for the socialites, the “cool” kids, and, well, anyone willing to do a keg stand.

If you know anything about this world, you also know there’s a hierarchy, and only the serious girlfriends of fraternity guys will get to experience what it’s like to be at the top of that Greek empire. I know the idea of dating a frat boy can sound kind of repulsive, but it’s actually one of the best things that can happen to you on Greek Row. I’m not talking about the infamous not-boyfriend we all love and eventually hate. I mean the kind of relationship where you get pinned, engaged, or at least plan to stay together after graduation. Earning this respected status translates into being treated like a princess by anyone and everyone around you all the freaking time, and it’s awesome.

No other fraternity makes you feel as comfortable as his. It’s like having more than one hundred big brothers looking out for you, getting you free drinks, making sure creepy guys stay away from you, laughing at your jokes, and telling you about how you’re the “favorite girlfriend” (even if they tell all the girlfriends that). You never miss a formal, cookout, pinning, or party at his house, which are all just bonuses for other girls. You become close with the other girlfriends, even if they’re from rival houses. You might even be closer to them than to your own sisters, but shhh…it’s a secret.

Not to mention, you’re the gossip queen when it comes to his fraternity. If there’s anything worth knowing, you’ve heard about it: his chapter’s fines for random holes in the wall, the fight a pledge got into with that douche from a rival house, and any other drama that’s bound to happen when a confined living space is overflowing with testosterone. You know all the mixer themes before any other sister, so you have enough time to plan a much better outfit than everyone else. Your house is 10 times more likely to get asked to co-host events. You know all the pledges before their bids are even given out (because you were the one dirty rushing them all along). And their bid day is just as joyous as your own, because when they get pledges, you get pledges.

Need a drink? There’s a pledge for that. Need Taco Bell at 2 a.m.? There’s a pledge for that. Does something need to be fixed in your house? A composite hung? Any heavy lifting? Yep, there’s a pledge for that, too. And then there’s your favorite pledge. He’s like a little brother to you by the end of his first semester. You secretly help him paint their house’s charity event banner, give him advice on his freshman love life, and loan him your old notes from 100-level classes. And that’s not all you end up helping with at your boyfriend’s house. There’s baking to be done, alumni parties to decorate for, fratty bow ties to be bought, and everything else that requires our inherent female responsibility and know-how.

Although this VIP access to an already invitation-only lifestyle means literally nothing to the outside world (you know, sometimes called “reality”) it makes you feel special, like a celebrity. It’s the closest you will ever be to Kate Middleton–so sad, I know. But, even though it might not matter after your college days are over, it’s something that will make your stories ten times better and memories one hundred times sweeter. So, you lucky betches who find a decent guy in a frat better soak the limelight up while it lasts. You only live get to be a Greek goddess once.

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premed donna

Who said you can't be smart and funny? When I'm not writing for TSM, you can find me studying into oblivion, downing a bottle of chardonnay, and/or sobbing for reasons I have yet to understand. All hate fan mail can be sent to

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