Best Lines To Get Yourself Out Of A Traffic Ticket

Best Lines To Get Yourself Out Of A Traffic Ticket

It’s common knowledge that if you are a Victoria’s Secret model you can easily get yourself out of any traffic violation you may have been pulled over for. Unfortunately, not all of us can have washboard abs and still have tits and an ass so here’s a few helpful lines to get yourself out of a ticket or two. Hopefully making a cop laugh will have an equivalent result as having been born a literal angel.

Things To Say As Soon As He Walks Up To Your Window

  • “Are you a cop? Because that is a solid career choice with a decent wage and I’m looking for a man with some life stability.”
  • “I bet you $50 you’re going to give me a ticket.”

When He Asks If You Know Why You Were Pulled Over

  • “No hablo Ingles.”
  • “I was speeding chasing the man of my dreams and when I saw your lights flashing behind me I knew that man was finally chasing me back.”
  • “Ugh, don’t tell me they figured out it was me that killed my last three husbands!”

When He Asks For Your Name

  • “Give me your name so I know what to scream tonight.”
  • “Kiss me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name *name not on name tag*?”

When He Tells You You Were “Driving Recklessly”

  • “I’m sorry, officer. But I think it’s YOU driving ME crazy!”

When He Asks Where You Were Going in Such A Hurry

  • “I was racing around for my lost teddy bear. Can I sleep with you tonight?”
  • “I have ice cream melting!”
  • “I was trying to catch up to the guy in front of me so that I could read his license plate because he threw a beer bottle at my car!”

Or you could always shed some tears and be sweet and innocent and maybe he won’t think you’re a psycho. Whatever floats your boat.

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My life is pretty much one big awkward embarrassing moment. Dream-self is a cross between Amy Schumer and Serena Van der Woodsen. I like LITs a little too much and am standards board's worst nightmare. If you don't party on Tuesdays then what's the point of college..? Feel free to email me funny stories and Memes because I love to laugh and there's a chance I might be able to make you laugh too. xo

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