News

Blac Chyna Infiltrated The Squad And Now She Totally Jacked Kim’s Business Idea

Blac Chyna

You guys, I don’t know how to tell you this. I know you took the news hard when you found out that Blac Chyna was set to wed the only male Kardashian left standing, and I know it was even harder when you found out she sealed the deal in semen by getting knocked up. But now, she’s really just coming in, trying to make her mark, and fuck shit up.

Have you all downloaded @chymojii yet???? #chymoji Support my baby !!!

A video posted by ROBERT KARDASHIAN (@robkardashian) on

CHYMOJIS? REALLY?! This is all getting to be a bit much. She’s just come in and infiltrated the squad, and I feel helpless. There’s nothing we can do about it. I feel like if I complain hard enough, she’ll go away. Or that perhaps I can start a petition and Kris will hear our roars and send Blac on her way. But I realize that this has been set in motion, and there’s no stopping it now.

Blac Chyna is here to stay, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m at a loss. Do I just download the app, and hate-send Chymojis of BC twerking in animated gif form? I know Kimojis are basically just as pornographic. But those were jokes, kind of. Don’t be fucking rude, Blac.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but this all makes my heart hurt. And as for you Chyna, you may be marrying into the family, and you may be carrying the only person who will let the Kardashian name live on, but I will NEVER call you Angela Kardashian.

Email this to a friend

Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

New Stories

Load More