The three most horrifying words that could possibly come out of a girl’s mouth, forcing your erection to drop down from a hard eight inches to a soft four faster than you can mouth out “Blow job.” The words that determine whether your night will consist of bed squeaks, and condom wrappers, or a bottle of lotion and a garbage full of tissues. Those three simple syllables, creating a whole new view of the hot girl right in front of you…
“I’m. A. Virgin.”
Her words bring you closer to tears than your favorite football team did when they lost the Super Bowl and you’re more frustrated than you were when Katy Perry didn’t show any cleavage during the halftime show. “Why?!” you wonder. “Why does this hot girl I wanted to bang have to be a virgin!” Well boys, I have a question for you: Why are you so afraid of taking a girl’s virginity?
For whatever reason, guys assume that every virgin is a time bomb waiting to explode. As if the moment you enter her she’ll never leave your side. Like a needy puppy that follows you around everywhere, only much crazier-looking, kind of loud, and constantly discussing your future wedding.
Well, guys, now is the time to realize that not every virgin is a needy, emotionally unstable psychopath, waiting for her knight in shining armor to rescue her from the virgin tower. No. Virgins are simply humans that haven’t yet opened their legs to sex, and some of them want to. Some of them are actively trying to, but in college, it’s just so hard to break the barrier, because you guys are cowards.
Let’s break down your fears, because the first step in the removing your fear is to ask yourself, what are you really, truly afraid of? And breaking down the irrational angst you have, ridding you of forever fearing the virgin.
No Pain, No Gain
There is a pain factor the first time someone has sex, usually only for the one laying on her back. You, being the gentleman you are, worry about the discomfort you might be causing her. That’s very sweet, but she’s not new here. She has friends. She knows that it might hurt, but it’s something she’s going to have to experience at some point in her life, and she wants to experience it now. I know that practicing caution may make sex feel like more of a process and less of a sweaty, body-smashing act of love (lust), but don’t let that ruin your good time. It doesn’t hurt anyone, and if you do it once, you then open the floodgates to do it again.
Crazy, Clingy, and Concerning
Yes, losing your virginity can be a big deal. Some people take it way more seriously than others, but if she’s asking you for sex and not a relationship, it’s probably because she wants sex. It doesn’t mean she’s delusional about what you two “are.” She won’t attach herself to you, indefinitely. You’re probably not even that great. This may have nothing to do with you and everything to do with herself, so quit assuming she’s going to become obsessively entranced by you the moment you enter her.
The Pressure Is On
You don’t have to admit it out loud, but at least acknowledge that there is a tiny voice in the back of your head that feels the heat. You are about to become the dick against which she measures all sex for the rest of her life! But I’ll let you in on two little secrets:
1. Every girl you sleep with is measuring you against every other guy she ever has and ever will sleep with for the rest of her life.
2. The virgin really can’t be all that disappointed. She has no idea what makes sex good or bad, so she’ll appreciate any effort you’re giving her.
The After Math
This might not be your fear, but it’s certainly hers. What happens after all the sex-having you do? I promise it will be fine, so long as you act normal about it. Don’t be a tool, or make a big deal about her virginity. She knows it’s a big deal. She doesn’t need you to add to it. Don’t pretend it’s anything it isn’t. If you’re not going to call her, date her, marry her, love her, or adopt a cat with her, don’t pretend you will. Be honest, and she’ll respect you more for it.
Other than that, just go for it! There’s nothing to lose, except her virginity of course..