It seems as if these days, we’re covering some sort of Amanda Bynes escapade once a week or so–and I definitely don’t hate it. Her fall from Nickelodeon grace was like watching Britney Spears circa 2007 and Whitney Houston circa 1996-2012 (RIP) get into a really sick, violent relationship and birth a baby who was both addicted to crack and lighter fluid. Basically, it was pretty fucking awesome.
Amanda went from this cute, little tween to someone–seemingly overnight–who was getting DUIs, throwing bongs out of her window, breaking into nursing homes, and setting driveways on fire. Add in some Twitter wars and a love/hate relationship with Drake, and what I described was basically a day in the life of A. Bynes in 2013. Seriously, it was absolute madness/amazingness.
Fortunately for her parents and unfortunately for quite literally everyone else in the western hemisphere, after a little stint in the crazy clinic, Amanda seemed to be getting her shit together. She briefly stepped away from Twitter (I cried about it for days) and enrolled in FIT. While she wasn’t exactly in line for a full Britney recovery, she definitely had the opportunity for maybe a Lindsay Lohan “comeback” of sorts. You know, the kind where we all pretend that she’s working again, and we pretend like the feds aren’t after her, and we pretend like she’s not still doing coke, and we pretend like she’s not two pills away from Anna Nicole part deux. Apparently, unfortunately/wonderfully/however you feel about it, Amanda didn’t even have a little LiLo spirit in her, and now she’s back to her old tricks.
Last week, she got in trouble for yet another DUI, which is weird, because I was fairly certain SOMEONE would’ve taken her keys away at this point. And this week? Oh, this week she’s just busy assaulting fans at NYC clubs. I’m sorry–allegedly assaulting fans at NYC clubs.
Apparently, Amanda was busy getting her groove on at a nightclub in Chelsea when she was approached by fans who wanted a photo with her. She declined, obviously, because she probably thought they were ugly or liked Drake or something. Well, the girls were persistent. They tried to take photos anyway. Again, it’s allegedly at this point that Amanda started swatting and clawing at one of the girls. The victim, however, doesn’t want to press charges, because homegirl is a fan and loves her so much and blah, blah, blah. Sue, bitch. She’s got money…or, at least, she used to..