Cal Poly Fraternity Completely Objectifies Sigma Kappa In World’s Douchiest Facebook Post


God, I love leaked emails and Facebook posts. They’re generally hilarious, and the reaction from the public is usually even more hilarious. However, as a Greek, I feel inclined to warn you for the millionth time, KEEP YOUR SHIT OFF THE INTERNET. Seriously. Even though it makes my job easier, it’s not a good move for you boys and girls. You’ll be misunderstood, you’ll get into trouble, and you’ll have to issue an apology (or there will be way more serious consequences) for something you thought was being said within the confines of your organization. But since none of you motherfuckers listen…

The Cal Poly Pikes have a thing for the new Sigma Kappa babies. They don’t have a thing for the older Sigma Kappa girls, so they need their fellow “Box-Stars” (fucking classic) to hustle toward that new poon in town. They’re just trying to get their Ds wet. The following post, though it was intended to be COMPLETELY KEY AND DAGGER, made its way to the internet–the public one–via Reddit last week.

Box Stars

They’re Pike virgins, man. What the fuck were they supposed to do? There is no fear of your frat bro becoming your Eskimo bro if you haven’t gone to poundtown with a pledge class yet–the only answer is to tear up those asses. They’re going to be neck-deep in the P, bros.

It doesn’t appear that the fraternity is in any official trouble yet, and the posters declined to comment. However, it is likely they will be removed from Pi Kappa Alpha. The fraternity’s president, Ellis Good, told Mustang News, “It was a single person’s feelings that should not have been written down. It’s not how we as a fraternity feel about women and those specific sororities.” The fraternity plans to apologize to Sigma Kappa and will “do whatever [it] can to set the record straight.” NO FUCKING SHIT they’re going to apologize–they can’t pass on those smokeshows. It would be a totally dumb move if they didn’t try to make amends with those babes.

Sigma Kappa, you can do better than these clowns.

[via Mustang News]

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at

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