Breakups aren’t always terrible. Sometimes it’s just time to end things with that guy you’ve been semi-exclusive with for the past three months, and you can both part ways without breaking any hearts in the process. You get back on Tinder again, and you start swiping right like your life depended on it with barely a missed step. Those are the break-ups that you forget about the next morning. Then, there are the bad ones.
The terrible breakups are the sort of events that could single-handedly keep Ben & Jerry’s in business. An awful break-up involves a feeling similar to an ice pick being gouged into your chest over and over again while your entire body is also on fire. There’s a lot of crying, and a lot of anger, and after those blow over there’s just the ache of missing him. The silver lining to the pain is that, eventually, it goes away. You won’t have to miss him forever, because eventually you move on and let him go. But letting go isn’t easy, and sometimes you have to spend a few rough nights staring at your phone and waiting for a call that’s never going to come before the hurt heals. But for some of us, that feeling of obsession won’t ever go away. Like, ever.
If you feel like you’ve been trying to get over your ex for ages and nothing is working, you might have an actual disorder called “limerence.” Limerence, according to psychologists Albert Wakin and Dorothy Tennov, literally means that you’re addicted to your ex and that the passion you feel for him/her will only grow stronger — regardless of whether or not a break-up occurs. This really takes the term “crazy ex-girlfriend” to the next level.
According to social psychologist Elaine Hatfield, the passionate love you feel for someone you’re in love with and the feeling of limerence are basically the same, so, that’s great. Your brain is craving that amazing high you had when you were in love, and when a break-up happens, that craving can’t be filled anymore. But that doesn’t mean you don’t still want it. So if you find yourself thinking constantly about your ex, having mood swings, or feeling like you’ll basically die if he doesn’t text you back, you apparently might be suffering from something more serious than a broken heart.
At least take comfort in the fact that pretty much any ex-girlfriend acts this way at some point. Just embrace it. On the bright side, it’s impossible for him to forget about you when you’re still randomly showing up everywhere he goes, right? Jk. Sort of..
[via Elite Daily]
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Shannon Layne
My favorite things are tiaras, compliments, and free drinks, which are becoming harder to come by the more I tend to show up at the bar in sweat pants. The proudest moment of my life so far has been landing an actual, paying job that allows me to Facebook stalk people for a living. I tweet about my mom way too often, who is constantly trying to remind me that I'm not nearly as cool as I think I am. Please send me funny stories to read at work here: shannon.laynee@yahoo.com
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